KJP, I am observing tomorrow morning so we will see how that goes. Our Montessori school does have an academic focus, but you are correct in that there is no issue if the child chooses to do flower arranging or window washing all day. DD could use some fine motor development and focus practice in a loud classroom so I really don't have an issue with this part of the philosophy.
Dbat, DD often says she doesn't want to do the works and that is why she doesn't want to go to school. Some of her feelings I believe stem from perfectionism and that her writing is lagging behind what she believes she should be capable of. She has however expressed a desire to go to the older kids classroom to explore their works as well as some harder reading works. When I let the teacher know Thalia's desires, she follows up with the same "type" of questions and often gets a different answer. The most common response is the works are "tricky." I asked DD today what she meant when she said the works are tricky. It was enlightening to hear that she is clear what the word truly means, but is not using it appropriately. Tricky to her is not synonymous with hard or difficult. Tricky is something that takes a little (not a lot or hard) work. I plan on sharing this with her teacher tomorrow.
I don't believe DD is asking for harder work, it is just not like her. While I appreciate the teacher following up with questions when I mention my conversations with DD, it sometimes makes me feel like they don't believe me when I relate my conversations. The different answers from DD I believe has contributed to the perception that I am pushy. I do not feel I am a pushy parent, and I certainly have never done some of the things they have insinuated - flash cards,making her practice skills at home, never letting her be a kid, teaching her to read etc. I just happen to have a kid that I am running as fast as I can to keep up with. I didn't know how else to resolve the issue so I had DD assessed so I could present "hard evidence" - IQ test etc.
You are spot on in your recruitment pitch. In the initial interview I was pretty clear about where DD was academically - though I did not totally realize how different DD is from others. They assured me they "followed the child" and her needs would be no problem. Unfortunately my experience has been that the school does not seek out a child's challenge level, therefore how do they "follow the child?." For example when we enrolled DD they had her practicing the alphabet despite me being very clear she had learned it 2 years prior. I was quite upset they never checked to see where she what her learning needs were and just assumed she should start from the beginning. This took two months to resolve and the teacher even said to me, I tried x with her reading and she blew me a way. Wow, no kidding, I could have told you that. Oh wait, I did!!
DD is not totally reliable on what goes on in the classroom either. In fact that is a major concern of mine. When DD learns something new or interesting she cannot stop talking about it. On a rare occasion I hear about a work from school. Like today I heard they worked on a lot of new language works and she said they were easy as I supposed she would. The teacher and the head of school have said they feel DD is "appropriately challenged" in her current state. You can see why I may question that statement based on my experience so far. In thinking about it, at no time have they said or insinuated DD is not capable of or ready for more advanced works, it always comes back to their system. I have shown the school her achievement test results and IQ results and explained briefly what they mean. Their ignorance of the needs of EG/PG children became clearly evident when they said they didn't believe it was ever good for a child to be grade skipped. Also, DD can be quite quiet, timid and a pleaser. Maybe not what they picture as a gifted child. They even said they have had many children like her in the past. Hmmm...
Madoosa, Thank you again for your words of wisdom! Why why why can't I have IRL friends like you? You put into words what I instinctively know but have probably been subconsciously choosing not to acknowledge. I keep hoping we can make Montessori work because I also believe in the methodology as a whole. DD isn't overly upset about school and goes with out protest once I mention her friends. But I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that DD is on the verge of realizing how differently she learns from her friends. She is already getting frustrated giving lessons to friends on works because in the words of the teacher "the other children are not doing it exactly as she thinks it should be done." I feel like I need a plan for the next semester for DD and since it has taken me this long to get the answered to just some of my questions it may be time to look more seriously at Plan B.
Whew! Who knew I had so much to say
I guess that happens when there is no one else (besides DH)to talk to about these sorts of things who even remotely gets what I am talking about. Thank you for listening!
