Last year when DS was in 1st we setup a meeting with the GT coordinator to discuss what next with him. We went in intending to suggest a skip to third which would also get him into the full time GT program. Amusingly she came to the meeting intending to suggest a skip to third which she had discussed with the principal. The whole of the agenda was "what next" for him.
We didn't mention the skip beforehand because we wanted to get a sense of the options and the school's stance. The coordinator was waiting for the meeting also to probe our feelings. So, great outcome, positive intentions all around, sort of comical and DS is in third this year.
When I find myself in a meeting without an agenda that is a surprise, I usually try to break the ice with stating something like "I was confused about the purpose of this meeting. I was guessing it is that you are concerned that the program isn't meeting our needs and wanted to figure out how to help."
Or something similar, where I ascribe the best possible intentions to the person calling the meeting. If I've misjudged their intentions, then it is on them to now paint a more negative picture of their intent.
