Yeah-- as a teacher (and later as a parent, though my child's problems are not LD or LD-related)... it's my experience that it is WAY better to approach things with an attitude of "
how can I do _____"
rather than accepting "I can't because {label}." I really do not like statements like the latter at all; they are seldom factually correct, when you get right down to it. Sure, "I cannot walk" is correct for some mobility challenges, but "I can't keep up at the park" probably is not.
Sometimes this requires a mindset shift. One may have to step back mentally;
what is the
fundamental nature of this activity/task?
what does "participation" look like? Meaningful participation/inclusion?
how important is it to me?
is there a way to meet my needs in a low-impact/hidden way? How?
In our family we say--
Everyone has reasons (for whatever it happens to be at the moment). Reasons can't be used as
excuses, though. Nobody cares about your excuses but you; they're a lot more sympathetic to the reasons when you leave the excuses part out.
While that sounds a bit harsh, the bottom line is that if your reasons are so overwhelming that they alter the activity/task, then maybe you need to find a different activity, or a different WAY of doing it. In an educational sense, that kind of thing requires an admission that a disability DOES mean some inherent barriers to full inclusion, and may always do so. If it's a one-time thing, then extraordinary measures are probably fine... but if it's to be a regular part of your life going forward, you have to find fairly low-impact ways of flexing to meet your needs
without impact to others. (This is on our radar because we so frequently DO require the active cooperation of others, so we have to weigh how much of that is reasonable to ask.)
Accommodations are
supports, and they are intended to help BRIDGE or SCAFFOLD work-arounds that we use in adulthood. At that point, we are expected to 'own' our differences and advocate for what we actually need from others, and quietly go about doing the rest for ourselves. Or-- and this is the hard one to accept-- to come to terms with the fact that some things are NOT possible because there isn't a truly feasible way around the limitations.
This self-management includes things like-- if you have an anxiety disorder, using self-calming strategies in increasingly stressful settings until you are proficient at them... bringing earplugs or an MP3 player if you have a problem with auditory distractibility, etc. It also includes notifying others, asking for alternative format materials, etc.
My work as a parent is to teach my DD that set of self-advocacy skills in a long, slow arc. Some things, we ask for
because of her AGE and MATURITY... and those things will eventually fade. I make it clear that I
expect those things to fade. We talk about the work-arounds that SHE will need to employ, and I model those things for her so that they are familiar.
Practice makes perfect, right?
