Hmm, that's a tough one. Before DS went to kindy, we were super worried about all the GT stuff, and then a month before school started we found out that DS has a life-threatening allergy to peanuts, along with other serious food allergies. We didn't worry so much about the peanut issue, but focused on safety re: his multiple food allergies.

As for the bus, in our district the bus drivers were not allowed to help the kids in medical emergencies. They are instructed to pull over and call 911, which isn't all that great if a kid needs an epipen right now. I believe you can get a 504 or something and get an aid on the bus, but we opted to drive our son to school. Rules probably vary by district.

Here's what we did to avoid allergens in kindy: We chose to send all of our son's food and beverages and requested that all peanuts be kept out of the classroom. We asked that all lunches be eaten in the lunchroom. Any class projects involving food were to be run by us for ingredient checks. We supplied the school nurse and the classroom teacher with epipens, letters from doc, lists of ingredients and other names for our kiddo's allergens. We requested that all teachers in contact with our son, including subs, had training to recognize signs of anaphylaxis and how to use the epis. We sent a safe treat box for when birthday treats were sent in, so our son could choose something from the treat box. We sent in safe snacks labeled for our son, plus extras to share. We requested handwashing after the kids at lunch/ate snacks (which has added benefit of reducing germs). DS sat at a nut-free table at lunchtime. There were still some incidents (so and so brought in peanut butter cups even though the Halloween list said no peanut treats, can we give them to the kids as we don't want the kid who brought them to feel bad? I told them they had to serve them outside the classroom).

As for gifty stuff, since we met the spring before kindy, the principal was able to pick a teacher who was good with differentiation. DS eventually got curriculum compacting with the GT coordinator for math (even though technically the GT program didn't start until 3rd grade).

You have a lot to think about! Good luck.