OK, so I read this through quickly and maybe didn't catch everything correctly, but this is my take on it. You have two different situations going on here that you're concerned with: 1) inappropriate consequence for your ds, and 2) concerns about lunch policy. I'd stick with dealing with your ds' consequence situation first and then once you've resolved that (hopefully!) move on to worry about the lunchroom situation in general - if it's a battle you really are passionate about and want to take up.
Re the consequences - I think the whole situation is not the way I'd want behavior challenges managed - it sounds like your ds is under a microscope. That said, the immediate thing I'd deal with is the idea of taking away the next day's recess for behavior issues the day before. That is a consequence that simply isn't going to work on two huge levels: delay of consequence and removing recess. I would voice those concerns to the school staff without bringing up any judgments about the way lunch is handled.
Re lunch - if I read correctly, recess is before lunch, then there is a set time period for lunch, and the *last* five minutes of lunch is when the students are supposed to be quiet. This is being done so that the kids who still haven't eaten their lunches finish them. I agree it's not a *great* policy but it's also not something I'd fight. The students *are* getting recess and they do have a certain amount of time to talk and eat at the same time. It's not as much time as kids would have in an ideal world, but all throughout school my kids have never had a lunch period longer than 20 minutes - I think it's simply due to how we in the US schedule our school days. This has been brought up as an issue in our school district several times, and each time the district has responded that it's impossible to lengthen the school day simply to extend the lunch hour. I don't remember the exact reasons, but I"m sure it all ties in to $, as well as possibly running into difficulties with bus schedules, after-school activities etc. Re the five minutes of silent lunch at the end - it's not what I'd do if I was in charge, but I also think that it's addressing an issue that is important - I've sat through I don't know how many lunchroom lunches with my kids in early elementary, and so many of the kids talk so much and get excited about whatever is coming next that they don't finish their lunches. When my kids used to do that, they would be *starving* at the end of the school day when I picked them up. Eating was low priority for them during lunch when they could instead be having fun chatting with their friends - but *after* lunch they still had a full afternoon of school where they needed to be able to focus and concentrate on their work, not be distracted by being hungry. So jmo, but 5 minutes of quiet time to make sure students finish their lunch is a very different thing than saying "no talking during lunch ever". I also don't know what's happening in the classroom at this school after lunch, but in our schools lunch/recess are always followed by a quiet reading time, because it does seem to help the kids calm down from their active time and allow them to refocus and be ready to do classwork again. Hence I don't think the lunch quiet time is something I'd worry too much about.
Again, I may have misunderstood how lunch works and if so, ignore my comments!
Best wishes,
polarbear
