I've never heard anything about AS kids "looking gifted" when they really aren't.
Usually that comes from labeling seriously unusual strengths as merely autistic "splinter skills." (This is also what they call the strengths of a person who can't talk much or make eye contact, but happens to be able to instantly know the day of the week for any date, or play the piano flawlessly.)
We were told several times before finding the right dx that DS didn't have anything wrong with him, he was just "so smart." But it also went the other way: the autism treatment team took some years to come around to the idea that it wasn't just that DS had "splinter skills" in mathematical computation and memorizing tables of scientific facts, he was really gifted (and actually gifted across the board, not just in math).
That is not at all to say that the autism experts weren't useful-- I really believe in ABA therapy done by a skilled practitioner, and that support has made a huge difference for DS and for us as a family. It's just that nobody could see the whole picture of DS except us, so I have spent a lot of time managing his therapy trajectory and academic trajectory so that it would all make sense.
DeeDee
