I would suggest reading all you can on the 2 subjects and anything that compares the 2. I know that it helped me tremendously. What I found in both my readings and through observation of my son, is that as the GT child who has ADHD grows older the disparity between cognitive ability and EQ- emotional quotient become larger.
My son was difficult to diagnose at an early age. I always knew he was gifted as he was way advanced in development and showed a progressive ability to apply new words and concepts to new situations acurately- there were lots of "woah.. how does he know that?.. he amazes me... he only heard that once.. he's been reading the newspaper?. etc"
The way it was explained to me when he was eventually diagnosed with ADHD at 10 was that he was able to compensate cognitively for his processing deficit. As he grew older he was easier to diagnose because the difference between his cognitive and emotional age became larger. There is a disparity for the GT child, but when the child is both GT and ADHD the disparity is larger. I found that both in what I read and with personal experience.
At the age of 7, my son seemed more like a 4-5y/o emotionally, but was capable of thought processes of a 9 or 10y/o. He gravitated toward 5y/o's for play time, engaging in imaginative role playing like the pied piper on the playground... or to 9 or 10 y/o's, who because of my son's large size, thought he was 9 as he could engage in conversation at their level. He also captivated his teachers in conversation, although they would pick up on mild behavior immaturities. Nothing glaring.
As he grew older there were more signs of ADHD, mostly in stressfull situations... There was more silly out of place behavior and not fitting in with his peers both because he was immature with noises, acting silly and he was always disorganized with a desk you would expect a few rodents to jump out of. In 4th grade he was testing at 8th+ grade level, and just not fitting in with his peers at school. This became more evident as he grew older. It seems he has grown faster than the norm cognitively but slower emotionally. The other kids could not relate to him cognitively or to socially because of his acting goofy/ immature. The disparity became quite evident at age 10 and that is when the decision was to test him with a child psychologist who was known to be experienced with GT. He first took the explore test at 10 and that is when his cognitive ceiling was 1st tested- he loved taking the test and still loves them as they challenge him. Parents/teachers all filled out questionaires which helped in ADHD assessment.
Between 7 and 10, I had the mindset that as long as he is doing ok in school, when he matures he will fit in better.. actually I found the opposite. I also kept telling myself that although they are not challenging him cognitively in school, he will always have that and my focus needed to be on the socialization/ emotional concerns as that is learned behavior. It is to an extent. The problem is the ADHD really does get in the way and as the discrepancy gets larger... you almost have to do something or things will fall apart. Home was not really an issue... it was in the school setting. At home he received all the intellectual stimulation he needed so less ADHD behaviors, except when anxious/ excited about going somewhere new/ party, etc he was unbearable and could not calm himself down.
I think it is a process and if it is ADHD, it will reveal itself (same for GT and ADHD/GT combined). Educate yourself on each as you are the best person to decipher. Input additional information from resources available to you such as teachers, parents, GT program teachers, speakers on the subject. I happened to know an excellent child psychiatrist who referred me to a collegue. Talk to a few professionals and interview them. There are differences in the questionaires and differences in practioner's opinions. My son's peditrician who I respect was certain he was just gifted.. but he saw him at age 1 with a 25-30 word vocabulary so that was his focus. He also did great with adults. My son did well in a Montesorri program ( he was there 1st -4th grade), as although structured, there is flexibility which is great for both the gifted and ADHD child. There is no ceiling to learning. Grouping of grades worked well at both a cognitive and emotional level with grades 1-3 in the same classroom. You may want to check that out.
