I am not sure if this is of any use. I see it as how they value themselves. If you value yourself as smart then the only reason you do not do well is that you are not smart. If the praise you get and the validation you get from others is based upon being smart then that is how you see yourself. It is better to praise only effort, then they value hard work. For my DS10 math is easy and writing takes effort. I try to praise the effort more. It's difficult because in math he does very well. I push more difficult math that takes effort, and I try to find things that take him more effort to do well. I am hopeful that he learns it is only through effort that we do well, and that satisfaction with oneself is more when you overcome true obstacles.
