Jon, you sound like my DH.
He has a deep need for the approval of others, but his disdain for them is rather off-putting, when you get right down to it... which leads to periods of self-loathing, since obviously nobody likes him... even if they ARE all deeply flawed people, content to wallow in mediocrity and sloth...
Most people don't respond very well to being told that they are flawed but have room for improvement in areas A, B, and C, in accordance with his internal rubric. Surprising, I know.
If this is epigenetic, as I often suspect that it is, then our DD is probably doomed.
My own impulses are almost entirely inwardly directed, but severe, and DH's are about equally inwardly and outwardly directed. I'm neurotic to the point of self-destruction and he comes across as a cold, judgmental jerk. Great combo.
