Any hints on finding a level of challenge that actually *will* challenge her? Honestly, I thought she was surrounded by her peers in our social group/neighborhood. We're a pretty exceptional bunch. But her MAP scores have me doubting this. She clearly wasn't showing me what she could do.
Will she work for some
one in particular?
My daughter will. If you engage her in a Socratic fashion, she is
stunning. Really jaw-dropping. But only if the other participant(s) are worthy of it (or something like that).
With DD, it's very personality driven. We've made it part of our strategy this last two years of high school to get her
away from teachers that don't make DD's grade there, because they are (at least when coupled with the curriculum) toxic for her. Rigid, protocol-oriented and seemingly humorless teachers are the worst for her. She's a funny kid and she enjoys being somewhat goofy, which is GOOD FOR HER (particularly in light of her other hangups, obviously). Having a teacher tell her to 'knock it off' all the time really ratchets up her anxiety and triggers the perfectionism.
Also, non-absolute activities. Things which are NOT right/wrong like art classes and literature discussions are great ways for her to show her stuff without comparing contstantly to a measuring stick.
This does mean that as parents, we have to grit our teeth and realize that we're going to be in for a LOT of judgment re: hothousing/Tigerparenting, because you really cannot point to assessments in most instances and measure kids like this if they aren't in the mood. They'll be all over the map depending on their relative motivation to cooperate with the proctor.
My DD has a few teachers that she will do ANYTHING for. This has been a lifesaver for us all-- those teachers know when she's not really trying, and they will ask for "more" in a way that makes it
interpersonal for her. That way, she's not trying to beat "the numbers" so much as trying to "do good" in terms of retaining/earning the teacher's respect.
I love those teachers because they are sparing with praise... and cultivate more authentic pride in DD.
I also like the strategy of "good enough" awareness. Very important stuff.
