There's a component of not caring about yourself enough to believe you deserve that playdate if the worth is based on doing that homework. (Not sure if that made sense--sort of equating homework success with playdate worthy and I guess I'm not worthy even if I do my homework because it's possible my homework could have been undone/too hard so I'll just not do it since I'm not worthy)
It helps prevent disappointment in yourself by assuring you can handle any disappointment.
"I'm not inherently playdate worthy, only conditionally IF I do okay on my homework, I guess I don't deserve a playdate"
YES. This is EXACTLY it. Any advice or even things to avoid?
She's always doing weird self-punishment things, like sleeping on the hardwood floor after an argument because she doesn't deserve the comfort of the bed. I think this has been going on at least since she was three.
