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For kids whose desire is based in autonomy, that isn't necessarily off-putting in and of itself. Their problem isn't rooted in a desire to NOT be forced to do things they don't feel like doing, but a desire to be able to make decisions about what to do and when-- for themselves.

Ding ding ding! Yes. This is it exactly for DD. It's not so much that she would choose to do things so very differently. She just wants to make the choices herself.

BTW, I don't feel like being an adult feels like being in a prison at all. I think I have quite a lot of freedom and I appreciate it. I get why DD feels that she doesn't. We tell her what to eat, what she's going to do each day (largely), when to go to bed, what she can and can't do in the house, etc. And I don't think we're overly restrictive.