Hugs. I hear you. I have one just like this. As in your case, I also have a second child who is also gifted but who is not like this. Parenting him is a cakewalk by comparison.
My DD has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but I am not absolutely sure the diagnoses are correct or that they are the true root of the behavior. I know how you feel and I know how hard it is. We were making the military school jokes ourselves last weekend.
I will ask if you think he could be anxious. I do think DD's anxiety causes her to want to be in control of every situation, so in that sense I feel it does influence her behavior.
