I just ordered "Transforming the Difficult Child" - a 6 hour seminar on DVD. I saw it recommended by Grinity in another thread and thought it sounded promising. We'll see...

I feel so desperate for any kind of guidance. I must be doing something wrong, there must be something I can do better to make this better for my family.

I should also add that my son is a good kid in general. He is never intentionally hurtful, never malicious. He is just very very very intense. He loves to argue. He likes to be in control (or think he is). He doesn't respect authority.