The more I think about this, the more I conclude that she still needs "more." She does better if kept mentally active. She really wants to take piano, but I've held off since the homework load is so heavy and she already expresses frustration about her limited afternoon playtime. I may try to do lessons this summer. Summer will be a good time to asses some other stuff, too.
I don't think this is the MAIN issue. I suspect she is wired this way to a large extent. While I think we are not parenting optimally, I don't blame us exactly--she really is TOUGH and we try really hard. The irony is that her actual behavior is really pretty good. It's the anger, attitude, rudeness, and stubbornnness that wear us down.
ETA that we are both poorer parents to DD than to my son, which is a hard thing to admit, but which clarifies things a little, IMO. I mostly feel that I am a good parent to my son, who has an easier temperament (though he is not "easy"). I screw up occasionally, of course, but to me it seems like it's totally within normal limits, and I do not get down on myself about my parenting when it comes to him. I--we--screw up much more with DD. The patterns we've developed are problematic. It's not that I think we are inclined to be bad parents generally, but she is challenging and we run out of strategies and just get burned out.
Last edited by ultramarina; 02/24/12 09:50 AM.
