Hello mcswones,
Welcome! I was in your position a few years ago, and I was so happy to have found this community. It's hard not to talk about your kiddos, and you shouldn't have to feel guilty about doing something as natural as talking about your child's development.
I also remember the worries about school, because I remembered how unchallenging my school experience was and I didn't want my kiddo to suffer from the same fate. My DH (dear husband) was also concerned, but when we talked of early entrance to school he worried about our kiddo not being as competitive in sports. (DH was very sporty.) We decided to see a psychologist for testing when DS was 4, so if she recommended early entrance we would have time to get that in place. Even though the recommendation in our case was go to kindy with age-mates and then skip 1st, the early testing was helpful because we were able to bring those scores to the gifted coordinator and principal in our school district the spring before kindy started, and they handpicked a teacher who was good at differentiation. (I'm not saying this is good advice for everyone; I'm just sharing our story as to what worked for us early on.)
I'm not from CA, so I can't give specifics on options, but knowing what you're dealing with before school starts can give you a better idea of what you're looking for in a school setting. What I have found is that the most important features for success for GT kids are flexibility in the school and good teachers. Parents need to be prepared to advocate as partners with the schools. Here's Davidson's Guidebook:
Advocacy Guidebook Homeschooling is something you should think about as a back-up plan. (Thanks Grinity for pointing that out somewhere.) - although we haven't traditionally homeschooled yet, it is true that just having the knowledge that we could do this, and it could also be a positive experience, saved us a lot of stress while dealing with the schools. We knew we had a back-up plan, and it made a huge difference in negotiations. If you think you only have one option, you can quickly fall into frustration, even despair, when you come across unreasonable people. Other things to keep in mind, which I believe were mentioned already, are that sometimes you have a fabulous school situation, but it works out well for a year or two. It helps to know that there is a possibility that you could be switching school situations a few times or more in your child's school years. The elementary years are esp. tough because of the focus on the basics, some of which have been mastered by some GT kids prior to starting school. Check out all the options for full-time GT programs near you. It's wonderful for GT kids to learn alongside intellectual peers.
As for the very early reading, when you're talking about reading before age 3, I say the likelihood of GT is high, and there is a strong chance at highly gifted, especially with a history of GTness in the family. Continue to read with your kiddo and encourage his reading passions. I remember that when my kiddo was 3 or 4, I was so happy because the books I could read to him were so much more interesting than the books that we read over and over when he was 1 or 2; we started reading Narnia books, The Hobbit, the first Harry Potter. There are lists of early reading books for your kiddo on this site too - do a google search and include Davidson Gifted Issues in your search (i've found i've gotten results quicker that way than using the search engine here). Here's one list:
Favorite books for early readers As for the anxieties, is it possible they're related to perfectionism? My kiddo showed signs VERY early when he would try to do something that didn't turn out how he wanted. Thomas Greespon has some good books on dealing with perfectionism. I have heard him speak and he has some wonderful advice. Here is one of his books:
Freeing Our Families From Perfectionism
