Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Learning too much from TV?

I know that I found "Smart, But Scattered" really helpful in assessing my own strengths and weaknesses in executive functioning, including planning and prioritizing and task initiation. The book also has some good information on using your strengths to compensate for and remediate your weaknesses. But that is only likely to be useful for someone who is interested in improving their skills in these areas.

If he is good at getting things done once he has clear goals, then finding ways to make it easier for him to set clear goals and keep them in front of him sounds like it might be a place for the two of you to start. How does he want your child to think of him? Maybe a mission statement would help him define this. Once he has a specific goal, then he might spontaneously start looking at what he needs to do to meet that goal. It might even help him to write it up formally and post it where he can see it. We keep a calligraphy piece hanging on our wall in the family room that has the Nine Noble Virtues (courage, truth, honor, fidelity, discipline, hospitality, industriousness, self-reliance, and perseverance) on it, to remind everyone in the house to embody them. It sounds corny, but it really does help in those not-infrequent moments when we want to just zone out or avoid dealing with something difficult or unpleasant.

Bottom line is that he is an adult, and it isn't really your responsibility or prerogative to change him, but it is your responsibility to ensure that you and your child are getting what you both need in order to be successful. If that means an engaged and present in-home sitter for your child while you work at home during the day and a part-time job for your husband to pay for it, that's certainly one option you might explore. He might really prefer that to being responsible on an ongoing basis for child care while you are working.