ok...so I'm reading "Smart but Scattered" and it's about executive skill function. Maybe you should check this one out and apply the information to yourself and DH.
fwiw-I was the one going back to school and DH travels alot for business. I was miserable. I wanted to be home with my baby and that really surprised me. So I found a way to reduce our expenses and started my own online business. Yes, that was hard, but 8 years later, we are still very happy with the way things have worked out. You don't need to change anyone really, just figure out what you and DH's strengths and weaknesses are and capitalize on those. For example, I HATE doing dishes and DH isn't that great a cook. So I shop and cook and he cleans up. If you are both at home, there is no reason you can't split housecleaning...
I suggest a schedule in writing for all of you. You and DH can take turns between studying/working and watching/interacting with your DD. I also found myself micromanaging DH a bit in the beginning and I had to remind myself OFTEN that he was from a larger family than me with two younger siblings and he actually had MORE experience with babies, lol! And you do need to remember and show your appreciation for the things he is doing well (but the XBOX is a no start...no XBOX while baby is awake and in the room). Also, even though some children need less sleep than others, they do still need a considerable block of sleep at night (not to mention sleep deprivation is used as torture-YOU and DH need sleep too!) You need to make some sort of schedule for her as well...outings to the park, library, even the mall, grocery store, etc are stimulating and therefore, tiring. I would try to build at least one outing in everyday...
My personal favorite parenting authors are Dr and Nurse Sears...
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Sears+parenting
they have a whole series and now I see some from two of their sons, who are also pediatricians...these folks raised, I think 6 kids of their own, including one with special needs, then adopted another child. And the first few kids came along while he was still in medical school. I figure, if they can do that, I can surely make it with only 2 kids and no medical school, lol!
We have a very clear image of how we want our lives to be. I want to work from home on my online business and DH wants to work from home programming. We want to homeschool our kid(s) and we want to be able to travel randomly, as we wish. We are in the first stage of making that dream happen right now. I just hope we can get it together to actually be able to function while working at home!
I have tried soooo hard to get him to agree to a schedule. He adamantly opposes it. He just got out of the military and wants no part of schedules or early waking hours. I get it, but he needs to get over it so we can get some control over our lives.
He just agreed to no Xbox while awake and claims he is going to play with her today. Last night I casually asked him if he would fire a babysitter who played Farmville for 8 hours a day while watching DD. That seemed to have an impact. We'll see!
And we love Dr. Sears. We've read The Baby Book over and over and we've poured over the thing in the depths of our colic despair, trying to find a solution. haha. DD fits Dr. Sear's definition of "High Needs Baby" to a tee.
Geomamma,
Thanks, I will check that book out!
