I'm sorry, but I just have to say, I would be more concerned about the XBOX than anything else. And it's not appropriate for your DH to say "Fine, you watch her." so he can play a video game. I can't imagine that ANYTHING on XBOX that your DH would want to play is appropriate for such a young child. He can delay his own gratification for that until she is in bed.
Yeah, that. Is he depressed? Is there a reason why they have to stay home all day? Could they take a walk, go to the park, go to the library, etc?
I think it is tricky to reply to your post because it seems like you are saying there is no way to change the situation, but you are worried it is not good for her. I agree, this is not a great situation for her development. You wouldn't hire a baby sitter that play xbox in front of her.
You read rather well into that.
I feel better about today because he took her outside. Driving with her can still be a harrowing experience (crying in carseat), but it has gotten a bit better. All events out of the house are 15-45 minutes away (the closest being the library.) DH will leave the house if I come, but I've got to start working normal hours soon.
Depressed? Maybe. He is unemployed... Sometimes I think maybe and we've talked about it. It is just the way it is right now. He needs to finish college and I need to do the business.
I would definitely fire a babysitter who played Xbox all day. There are a lot of things DH does right...he does really love her...she has really bonded with him these past few months. And he is very sensitive when I start nagging or getting upset too much. He always says I don't see the good stuff he does... and he is kind of right. I have a large number of friends who would kill for a husband that did the stuff he does for us. He ends up taking criticism too much to heart and seems to feel like he is just failing at being a dad / husband.
Someone mentioned a bed time... There is no good bed time. She falls asleep around 11:30pm every night and wakes up at 9:30. She starts stirring around 7am and nurses all morning until we get up. I tried getting her to sleep earlier and it was a nightmare. The tossing and turning began at 3am.
How would you guys handle this situation? There are a lot of issues / factors playing into this and I don't know what the right answer is. I can't force DH to be someone he's not...And I'm trying to figure out how to balance everything without totally ruining our marriage. There are so many things I want to change and figure out and so far my time management skills suck (cooking healthy food, getting three meals a day in DD, going to bed and getting up earlier, exercising, working on my business the same # of hours every day, cleaning our house...)
I keep talking to DH about it but he just says he wants some of those things, too, and then neither one of us does anything about it. I'm working really hard, here, on my business, but sometimes I feel like we are poor / lazy college students waking up late every day and being layabouts. We also both have a problem with focusing on one thing at a time for too many hours / days to the detriment of the rest of our lives... video games or business.
There is a TON of pressure with money, too, right now. Basically, we're in a funk. My dad reassured me and said he thinks we are doing a really good job and spending more time with her than a lot of parents usually do, but meh. I don't get how two totally grown up adults could be so.. irresponsible? Could not have it together? But maybe I'm being way too hard on us.
