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Joined: Aug 2010
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OP
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Joined: Aug 2010
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I can't quite tell if it bothers her. She does seem bothered while encountering frustration that causes her to give up (such as the song problem in her play, or the index problem in her guide). However, not all projects are abandoned due to frustration, and if they are, it passes quickly and she doesn't seem to think about it again. I do abandon books myself, btw. However, it would be unusual for me to have 20 books out from the library and to start and abandon 17, finish two, and read one three times (this is kind of what she does). 
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Starting things is more fun than finishing them 
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Joined: Apr 2009
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I used to be like your DD when I was a child (and as an adult, to a lesser extent). The reason I did not finish projects was because in school, things were easy. But if I did something on my own, I was not used to having to put in the effort and hard work it took to finish a project. And my work never seemed perfect enough for me. I had countless sewing projects, cross stitch pictures and stories gathering dust in my closet. This is an area that I have struggled with even as an adult. Me, definitely me! I'm still that way. It comes from being a "big picture" thinker but not so hot on the actual details of how something gets done, and the work never fulfilling the dream of the finished project to the perfectionist's satisfaction, and yes, the fact that starting things is fun but finishing them is work that one might not be accustomed to. Good luck -- if you find a solution, let me know!
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I do abandon books myself, btw. However, it would be unusual for me to have 20 books out from the library and to start and abandon 17, finish two, and read one three times (this is kind of what she does). Do you have my child?? I was tidying up her book shelf this weekend and counted 15 books with bookmarks inside (this means she is actively reading them). She has been reading at least 10 of those books since summer. When I suggested that she finish a few of those before adding more to the collection she gave me 'the look'. What was she reading last night? The newest Diary of a Whimpy Kid book for the fourth time!
Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it. — L.M. Montgomery
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Ironically, I'm motivated by an almost diammetrically opposed set of inner motivations. Oh, sometimes it is about the details escaping me when I start a project... but sometimes it is because once I have the entire thing (planning, troubleshooting, etc) done in my mind, there's just no point in the physical/corporeal task of making it all a reality. It's a very Zen approach to things. I can imagine the finished product, and therefore I don't need to bring another afghan into the world, since it exists in my mind's eye. Of course, this doesn't explain why I have the materials for the project. 
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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This is so interesting how there can be such different explanations for the same behaviour! For the sake of OP's dd I hope she is like HowlerKarma. Again, I think it all depends how she feels about the uncompleted project--but if she just doesn't know how to complete it, coaching could be a good thing.
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I think that PTP is right-- she's getting what she needs out of the project and then it loses its importance to her.
An emphasis on "meeting your commitments" is only appropriate beginning in adolescence.
A lot of people who bite off more than they can chew and then have a million things half-finished (or just started) are serving an innovative impulse, too.
I'm one of those people. I am often driven to figure out HOW to do ________ (project). But once I've done that, there's little point (for me personally) in following through unless the product is something that I truly have a need for.
It's the impulse to problem-solve or create that I derive my gratification from. The process, not the product.
As for the library book problem, it may help for her to have a single location where she keeps books... or maybe a set number that she thinks she can read at one time. Have you asked if it bothers her when she doesn't finish the books? Yes, this sounds EXACTLY like me. The things I have stuck with the most are things I am really interested in and get involved with a group. I knit and I love it but, I am not sure I would knit anymore if I hadn't started a knitting group. My husband is always asking me what my next 'thing' is going to be. I also wanted to add the field guide sounds like it served a great purpose. She learned not to start the way she did next time. I would be a little frustrated and put it on the back burner for a while and come back to it later if it were me.
Last edited by BigBadWool; 03/10/11 07:02 PM.
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OP
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Just wanted to follow up on this and say that she actually finished writing her musical. Now she wants to hold auditions and start rehearsals. She has already begun constructing the scenery.
Um...help.
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Just wanted to follow up on this and say that she actually finished writing her musical. Now she wants to hold auditions and start rehearsals. She has already begun constructing the scenery.
Um...help. lol That's awesome!
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Careful what you wish for....
Hee hee!
Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it. — L.M. Montgomery
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