Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion The gift of time

I really don't understand the lack of flexibility/one-size-fits-all approach in so many schools, whether the issue is when to start, time needed to master material, or skipping a grade/staying back. Everything else in the world is "sized": cars, clothes, shoes, houses, pens, crayons, everything. Why is school different?

To me, the US public school system (and some private schools, to be fair) is less about learning environments and more about applying industrial methods to education.

Oh well.

As for the gift of time, my kids will get it when they graduate: for example, the eldest will finish school at 16 and will have two years to use as he pleases (within reason). Internships, community college classes, sports, a p/t job, etc. etc. Sounds great to me. Why would educators be so against something like this?

Val

Good one mom123! There is that too.
Very interesting article. I wonder if it isn't too idealistic.
And I remember a few years ago, before gas prices shot up so dramatically - folks were saying: "It isn't that I want an SUV, but if everyone else has an SUV, then do you really feel safe on the highway in a compact car?"

I think holding kids back in more upscale neighborhoods has become an 'SUV problem.'
And my son did have the worst year in 2nd grade when they put him in a classroom with a lot of 'boys who were good at reading.' Sure enough there still weren't at his reading level, but they were a full year older, and much more 'pencil ready' and 'behavior ready.' I resent that the whole thing was a secret, and DH and I kept hearing that DS's behavior was 'immature' compared to the other boys.

I have a lot of sympathy for parents who want to protect their child from that!
I just wish there was magic dust that one could rub on kids to get rid of asynchronous development. I think that maybe 'Nurtured Heart Approach' might be part of that magic dust - older siblings are a big help - shorter workweeks for moms? - maybe meditation?...I'll be searching for a long time I guess. I'll bet a dollar that incoming kindy classrooms have more bouncy kids than ever.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Oh my! But wouldn't we all end up being dull? I know it's a pain, but I prefer the quirks.

So THAT's where the 'all even out by 3rd grade comment comes from!!!!
Now I can sleep at night. AH
Grinity

Hmm. I don't think I'm delusional. This may be more of a one-size-doesn't-fit all thing.

My kids don't really fit the academics-focused profile of a lot of the kids described here, in that they have high-intensity interests that go way beyond academics (e.g. sports, travel, doing stuff that's productive and/or creative). The idea of, for example, a marine biology internship involving scuba diving or snorkeling on a French-speaking Caribbean island would be heaven to my eldest. Why pick more homework over that? I've talked about the two-year gap with him, and he seems to be quite intrigued by the possibilities.

To me, the idea of rushing to college seems odd. Why do that when the world is there waiting to be explored? But that's just one person's approach to life. YMMV and to each his own. If the kid is desperate to go to college, no problem. We'll work something out. But I doubt it.

I agree with CFK. After 2 grade skips, I was ready to go to college and figured out how young I would be after med school, if I did undergrad and med school in 5 years (an option) and then residency.

I think a child does get caught up in the acceleration and learning curve and doesn't take that year off. Though I am contradicted by all those young sailors trying to be the youngest going around the globe. Though I do recall many were doing their studies online.

In NYC, even if you are in an accelerated program, you end up going to the same high school as other kids can get into. Although those are the highest scoring kids. But some of those kids actually come from gen ed. That high school is 31 on the US news list, but 2 for National Merit Scholars (thanks to someone for pointing that out as a comparison tool) is considered a top school for recruiting by Harvard and Yale.

At the end of the day, your kid, if not homeschooled goes to this high school, with age peers, and takes AP courses. Now, some kids actually leave this high school at 15 or 16 (as noted recently for a kid who left early to go to Harvard. But generally kids leave on time.

Gift of time. Not sure what that really means, but I know my fall birthday kid would have been really bored if I red-shirted her. Not allowed in NYC.

What would I have gained from gift of time? Intense boredom and probably would have gotten into much more trouble than I did. With an acceleration track, I pretty much had friends who acccelerated, and even though we partied through high school, we were also athletic, competed, were serious about being top in class and survived.

I think that being accelerated, there is an acknowledgement that you are smart and having top grades is part of who you are.


Ren

Wow, everyone has lots to say on this one, very interesting.
I guess whether or not dd is graduating at 16, or taking 3rd grade twice, I do know for sure that this year in K has been great for her, and she would have been very bored in preschool again. So, one year, one month at a time!

Good point.


Doing this comes naturally for some people, but that doesn't mean that going to college three months after graduating from high school is an archetype. I went straight to college; my husband didn't. I took two years off after an A.B. and then went for higher degrees. These steps were his natural and my natural. There is no single "natural progression."



My kids skipped grades because they had already learned what was on offer in, say, kindergarten or third grade. But that doesn't mean that they can't get engaged in non-academic things. All of us in my family can get very intense about things outside an academic or cognitive-based environment. We don't feel a "lack of learning" in these situations. Obviously, others are different.

As an example of contrast, many of the kids described here thrive on summer schools and/or summer academics. Someone in my family was this way as a kid, and it was great. My kids prefer day camps that involve lots of running around, trips to the pool, and arts & crafts in the summer. Ditto for sleepaway camp for the eldest. No one gets bored or in trouble. It's just how we all are.

We had a different idea of "gift of time" given to us by the psychologist who tested our son when we were wondering about early entrance to K. She said, "Let him play at home another year, and you parents take a break for a year - you'll have lots of advocating to do throughout his school career." It was good advice after just learning our kid was PG, and we used the time to read everything we could and plan what worked best for our kiddo at that time.

We ended up having DS7 skip 1st grade, so really with these kids, like others have said, when the gift of time occurs can shift throughout their schooling, depending on many factors.

Yes, I totally agree. For us, DS6 never did well in a 3yo program and we pulled him out and didn't have him in another program until 4. Even then just a few hours a week. It worked well for us. Then he skipped K and started first. I am glad we did it that way, and it was nice to have a year that was fairly worry free. He still did tons of academic stuff on his own that year, but it just wasn't in school.