Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Funny Thoughts

I thought it would be funny to share the thoughts and quotes of our kids. Gifted children sometimes say the craziest things, and I often think, "Did he really just say that!" If you are wanting to share some humor, I'd love to hear it. Sometimes the frustration is so great, it is good to remember the funny and cherished moments.

I'll start with a funny situation we had at pizza hut.

We had just watched the Magic School Bus about digestion that day and Marshall spent the day talking about the path of food through the body.

We had stopped by pizza hut for their new "poppable" pizza, as Marshall had spent two weeks asking if we could do this. After we were almost finished with dinner, he stands up on the bench and proclaims rather loudly, for all to hear:

"This cheesy bite just went into my mouth, down my throat, into my stomach, and through my pee pee nuts!"

Needless to say he had the entire dining room cracking up. Mom and Dad were rather red in the face!

We were driving one day and my husband got cut off by some other driver. He responded "What the hell are you doing?" (forgetting the kids were in the car) and Lauren replies, "the answer is, what the hell are YOU doing?". Obviously we do not encourage her to use any sort of profanity as we do not normally ever cuss in our home....but we must've laughed about this for months!

I could add so many examples!! Just last evening my son asked, "Do you think when I grow up I'll be able to manage my credit card debt?" There's a sign of the times for you!!

We don't have credit card debts anymore (thank goodness). I'm speculating this question arose from the commercials on TV encouraging home owners to refinance their homes to pay off debts.

Jonette

Ahhh my favorite.... It is several years old but....

In the back seat DS was reading a new book that we hadn't carefully pre-read - but after all, it was about geography: Mommy, did you know that Tennessee is the dammedest state in the country?

'Uh - where did you hear this?'

I read it right here. Tennessee is the dammedest state in the whole world.

'Please read me exactly what you are reading. '

The Tennessee Valley has more hydroelectric plants than any other area in the world.

I'm a new user & I've been browsing. This thread caught my eye, and gave me a chuckle. So, here's my favorite story...

When my son was five he picked a biology science book from the library. We were reading the chapter on inheritance for his bedtime story one night, and the book suggested making an eye-color family tree. He was facinated by the tree, so I drew some simple dominant/recessive Mendalian charts to show how blue (b) and hazel (H) eye colors can combine.

The next morning he came bouncing down the stairs saying �Mom, Mom, guess what! If I marry J (his little sister) when I grow up we will have all blue eyed babies because we are both bb's and can only have bb babies and so they will all have blue eyes.�

I pointed out that you don�t marry your sister, but we have not yet discussed inbreeding and why you might have no-eyed babies if you marry your sister.

Understanding of genetics: A+
Understanding of societal norms for marriage: F

This really isn't anything profound, but I was cracking up!

Today we had a new security system installed at our home. While the techinican was trying to install the system, Marshall was talking his head off. I was doing laundry and in between bedrooms and the washer/dryer, I kept hearing crazy conversations, from surprise treasure boxes to the creation of the world....Marshall decided it was very important he know how planet earth was made. Then, he pulls out his baby brothers drum and proceeded to tell the poor man that he was going to give him a drum lesson right then and there. The conversation went something like this:

Marshall: I want to teach you how to play this drum!

Technician: Oh, yeah?

Marshall: Yeah, I am really good at playing this drum and love to play all kinds of instruments.

Technician: Uh-huh

Marshall: Yeah, so, I think you need to watch me play this drum and learn how to do it.

Technician: Ok.

and on and on. There was a lot of uh-huh and reallys going on from the tech. Poor kid, he was a college student doing this for his summer job. He finally looks at me, slightly annoyed, and says "He is so smart!"

Mom: Uh-huh!

Lots of love!

O.K., here are my two favorites from years ago:
My two year old is downstairs playing with Play-Doh with his 5 yr. old sister and her friend. I overhear my daughter say, "I'm making a snake!". Her friend says, "I'm making a pancake!" My son says, "I'm making Southeast Asia!" ??
And sometime during that same summer, we were driving home from somewhere and my daughter was behaving badly in the car. I got fed up and said, "when we get home, you go straight up to your room!!". From his car seat my son pipes up, "she CAN'T go straight to her room Mommy, she has to first turn left, go up the stairs, turn left again, walk a few feet, turn right and go down the hall and THEN she can go into her room."

I think sometime you become so accustomed to your kids behavior that you don't always noticed how unusual it is. The two stories that most quickly came to my mind were ones that my friends shared with me about my daughter.

When my oldest was about 2 or 3, my friend was babysitting her during the summer. One day she took my daughter with her and some friends to Space Center Houston. While they were looking at the exhibits, my toddler daughter says, "Look a lunar module," and points to the lunar module hanging from the ceiling.

Another incident happened when she was in kindergarten. My daughter went home with a friend one day after school. On the way home, the friend's mom stopped by the bookstore and bought each of the girls a book. My daughter chose one about frogs. While they were driving home the girls were reading their books and my daughter asked her friend's mom, "What does androgenous mean?"

You can't always prepare other people for the questions your kids might ask.

Summer

Now this is fun.

When my son was about 8 or 9 he was in a Botany class where they were doing plant classifiction. They each recieved a seed that they were to study and fill out a detailed worksheet on the various characteristics of the seed and eventually the plant. The first line on the worksheet was Name of Plant- so he named his Twanklespunk. It wasn't until the class was almost over that he realized what the teacher meant was the name of the seed type.

Then just this week we were driving through a city and passed a Botanical Garden. He wanted to point it out but we were passing so fast he couldn't think of the word. Finally getting frustrated he yelled "Hey mom there's the Veggie Dome."

Eileen

My son, who is now 7 has been obsessed with dinosaurs for quite some time now. He will spend hours reading books about them and could give your endless useless facts that would raise a few eyebrows. He is very precise about things. About a year ago he had his regular check up with the ped. and we're sitting in the room waiting for the dr. and he's looking at the posters on the wall as he often does. Normally he'll become engrossed in one about the digestive system or something but in this particular room there was a dinosaur picture displayed and he became very agitated as he studied it. I asked him what was wrong and he said "That picture has the names of the dinosaurs on it and it says that one right there is a T-rex but it's not! A T-Rex does NOT have 3 claws on his small arms he only has 2 so it's WRONG! That is NOT a T-Rex!" He was visibly upset until the dr came in and of course we had to go through it all again because naturally the dr wanted to know what the problem was. Well, the picture is still hanging in there and every time we're in there and I have my son along I have to remind them NOT to put us in that room because he just can't stand it that they won't take that picture down.

Before I discovered the wonderful concept of a cyber charter school and my son was attending the local public school I had to warn the teacher of a few things. He had a history of fighting kids to the death about what a person's head is called. My son knew most of the bones of the body by the time he was 3 so he would not accept anyone calling it "my head" oh no! He stood outside screaming at a child one day "NO! It's your CRANIUM!" He also learned sign language about the same time so I had to let the teacher know that holding up the middle three fingers and calling it a "3" would yield another argument with him. That is a "w" and he will not hear anything else out of anyone about it.

My now 3 year old daughter...she seems to be a temperamental artist thus far and I don't know if she will be PG like her brother or not. I was standing in a store one day about 2 feet from a man with long hair pulled back in a braid and she says very loudly "Mom, why does that man have hair like a lady?" *sigh* I took both kids to a local "traveling planetarium" Starlab that our library was having and at the end of the presentation the man asked for questions and there goes my daughter's hand in the air. I'm thinking "WHAT could she POSSIBLY want to ask him?" I should have known better. She boasts "Um, can I take a star home with me?" Yeah, that's hardly profound but certainly worth a giggle. )