Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Need some help

I am realizing that I may have made a mistake sending my 6 yr old to public school. She is in 1st grade now. She has a 4.0 without putting any effort at all, (and what I mean is I cannot get her to put any effort into it.) She hates school. She hated Kindergarten, because she already knew everything taught and she refused to do the work she was assigned but still passed with flying colors. I had her tested for the schools TAG program and she didn't qualify, for it based on that stupid test, which has always suprised me considering one other child in her class who did make it, I have to wonder whether or not my childs test was switched with another students, because she told me that she did not put her name on hers. I just don't see how the school can so easily miss her abilities, and in the meantime just let her rot away without any challenge. We are talking about a child who talked fluently at age 8 months, who could talk fully conversational,as if adult, by age 12 months, so much so, that at age 18 months old she was allowed to join ballet class in a school that the very youngest students ever allowed were age 4. but she was allowed because of her maturity and her eagerness to learn. This child also could read as a baby too! This is not the half of it, she is super creative, always chimming in with a very unexpected response to things, not usually mainstream at all. Her school has yet to identify her?? I don't know what to do for her, but I am so frustrated because she hates school, and feels alone in her class. It's heart breaking to see this happen to a child who has so much potential. I wish that I had never sent her to public school now and am worried that it may be too late to reinstill any new habits in her since she has basically given up on school and become lazy. I have a hard time teaching her, always have, as she would never sit still long enough for me to show her anything, so home schooling probably would be very difficult on us both. I am sorry to vent, but just feel overwhelmed currently. I only found this board today, and am just beginning the process of trying to find the answer for her education, but can clearly see it's not public school, and I would welcome any advice.
Thanks
cc

1) It isn't too late. an adult who is acting the way your child is acting might be beyond hope - but, in general, children's patterns of behavior are not nearly as deeply engraved as adults. so stop worrying.

2) Are you in a position to appologise to her for sending her to school and just stop sending her? (temporarily or permanently)

3) Have you requested, in writing, that your child be given an IQ test and achievement test, by the school, at the school's expense, immediatly?

4) Have you applied to the Davidson's young scholar's program?

5) Is paying for a private IQ score goinging to be a hardship for your family? If not, what concerns do you have that have stopped you from going that route?

6) Are you hooked up locally with your state gifted association? Local universities sometime have someone who will talk to parent's on the phone?

7) Don't waste your time with the local T & G progam until you have know if she is gifted, and if so 95%,98%,99% or 99.9% kind of gifted - it matters. Deb Ruf's book may help.

8) Don't worry about wether or not you are a good teacher for your child, many homeschooling mom's provide lots of management and resource finding and no direct instruction. With my son, he wouldn't sit and watch me, but if I exposed him to something interesting, after trying and failing for himself, he would demand some coaching. I try to follow his mind from the mistakes he makes and say: "It looks like you are trying to ..., yes?" But it doesn't matter that you aren't good at it, you'll learn and grow, she will too.

Love and More Love - Robin from Connecticut

Hi CC,
I'm wondering how things are going for you, and if you've seen Deborah Ruff's Article on Levels of Giftedness, here's a link to it:
http://www.dirhody.com/discanner/levels.htm

It looks at levels of gifted as predicted by childhood milestones.
Love and More Love

cc

At the very least you could ask to exam the test given to your daughter to verify it was scored correctly and was actually hers. You have a right to eamin her file, although the test may actually be in a file at the district office. They will not let you take it but may let you copy the summary - which I would do.

CC,
My son, never tested but surely gifted - every SAT and IOWA is always 99%, has been attending private school since age 4 (preschool).The school has never approached us with any suggestions as to what we should do with this smart boy. He has always been anxious and unable to sit still but never a problem in the classroom. He never had to put any effert into his homework or assignments, unless they were research papers, but even then the effort was minimal. I quess he always knew he is going to get a 100% . Instead of listening to his math teacher, he was making truly elaborate paper planes and selling them to his classmates. When he was told to pay attention and show some respect , he started correcting her on the mistakes she was making - actually, one of them was a mistake in the textbook itself, and there is now a funny story in the school about the whole incident.Ever since grade 2 we approached his teachers asking for some more advance work for him. Even workbooks, which I hate, anything to make him learn ahead. Nothing worked. My son never liked school and wanted to be home schooled, a task that I did not believe in since we speak a different languae in our home plus I always believed that he will greatly benefit from having daily contact with other kids. Anyway, my son is now in grade 5 of a local Charter School. He is doing algebra and discussing narrative essays with his fabulous LA teacher. He loves his charter school, loves the fact that he is able to express himself and is able to speak his mind. He is free to be himself.
So I guess what I am trying to say, is that I do not believe in private schools based on my own experience. Private school never recognized my son for whom he is, never appreciated his "gifts". He was this little "foreign" boy, who played violin and was incredibly good at math. His curiosity was dangerous and inapropriate and the fact that he could read books in another language just plainly strange.
Ania

Hi Ania -
The message of hope I get from your post is that a "good fit" school environment can have a big, positive impact on a child's whole life. Some of us find that "good fit" in private schools, some in homeschools, some in public schools - traditional and Magnet/charter, some at Boarding School, some, unfortunatly, not at all. It can take a long, long time to get it right. Sad to say, that with these kids, what worked this semester may no longer work later in the year! A challenge, but every story like yours fills me with hope to carry on. Thank you.

I finally had my son tested through Rocky Mountain Talen Search. He scored high (will be accepted to their program) in both LA and Math but especially high in Math. What is the best way for those kids? His school recommends to us we put him a grade level higher, it will be easier to accomodate his needs. We, as parents, are quite resistive , vey reluctant. Any thoughts on that? If we do not skip a grade, our son will have to take geoometry as an online course. Any thoughts on that? Has anyone ever did any courses online?

I finally had my son tested through Rocky Mountain Talen Search. He scored high (will be accepted to their program) in both LA and Math but especially high in Math. What is the best way for those kids? His school recommends to us we put him a grade level higher, it will be easier to accomodate his needs. We, as parents, are quite resistive , vey reluctant. Any thoughts on that? If we do not skip a grade, our son will have to take geoometry as an online course. Any thoughts on that? Has anyone ever did any courses online?

There is a wonderful book calls Iowa Acceleration Scale Manual, about 20$ from Amazon, and really expained in depth what all these test scores mean. I would love for our public school to offer my DS9 a grade skip. It wouldn't be enough, but I believe it would be a good start. Another book worth reading is "RE-forming Gifted Education" to see what alternatives there are to grade skips.

There is no doubt that grade skipping can have drawbacks, but I believe that for my son, the benifits would outweight the negatives.

The first question is: How does you son feel about it? Does he have dear friends that he's loath to be apart from? If not, he is more likly to make them after the skip.

What about the school? Would a grade skip cause him to miss an excellent teacher or leave a good setting?

As for online classes - my son has enjoyed them at times, but some children resent haveing "extra" work at home after school hours are over. Of course some schools allow the child to do "their Math" while the other kids are doing Math.

Best Wishes
Trinity