Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Weird and dorky ??

Don't I love this forum! It never amazes how my son is seen as an "attention seeker" in school but is "having discussions" with us or our family and friends.

One day the boy asked me, "why did you make me smart?". No idea what brought that up that day. I said I didn't make you smart you were born that way. A lot of people mention that he's smart. I should have asked him why he thought I made him that way or what he thought it means to be smart rather than defended myself from the accusation. Rookie mom move. He asked me if dad and grandma were smart. I said yes and he was satisfied and made peace with it. Isn't it a little early to have an identity crisis? Aren't those due in the mid- to late thirties?

Well, ds asked me this morning if I was weird !! I said yes, in some ways - and he said "it must be a family thing, then" LOL

This hit close to home. On Halloween, my DS was going to dress up like a ninja. He wears glasses and is small and skinny for age. He put his whole get up on, took a look in the mirror, and wasn't happy with how the glasses looked with the costume. So he put a pencil behind his ear and called himself a "nerdy ninja". I think he's comfortable in his skin! It's a good thing.

Ds was a vampire, complete with having black nail polish on his finger nails. He liked it so much, he had his aunt paint his fingernails black again last night (while we were out, at his conference). So, he's gone to school with nail polish on this morning.

I think this is an important issue for boys, more than girls. I have met so many nerdy/brilliant men who made millions/billions, became legends but it never leaves them that they never got the cheerleader and it haunts them.

I remember being in Chrysler's garage, decades ago, and Lee Iacocca was leaving and the person I was with mentioned that he was divorcing (after 9 months of marriage) his flight attendant wife. I think she got 1 million for every month she had to "endure" in Detroit. And I thought this is a man people wanted to run for President and he couldn't see through this flight attendant. And this is just one example.

I hope that as you teach them that nerdy/brilliant is a great thing, also tell them that woman should be cherished for who they are in their souls. A lesson that even the nerdy/brilliant find hard to learn.

Ren

Absolutely wonderful story; thanks for sharing.

Oh how my DS8 embraces his inner and outer nerd. He clearly defines the differences between nerd and dork. It is okay to be a nerd but not a dork( not sure why) He and I have discussed how wonderful it is to be unique. The world is boring with everyone who wants to be the same he says. This from the little buddha in the tie-dye flashing a peace sign and doing something techie or artsy. It is just such differences that amazing everyone around him. I even found a shirt that says "I love nerds" When the Nerds unite the world is ours.

I'm late to this discussion but it is something we have to deal with. My DS10 now clearly see's he is different then other kids.
It hasn't been totally painless but he is good with it.

Last week one of the "Cool" kids called him a nerd. DS's friend tried to stick up for him and DS told him not to worry "I'm totally OK with it" He proclaimed to the group that he was a Nerd and PROUD of it...LOL.

Yesterday ...after putting together a 2000 piece Lego set in 4 hours (16+ age). DS asked me " Mom do you get me?" I said of course I get you...he then said Mom kids don't get me...Do you think Dad gets me?
I said of course dad gets you...

When he was beginning this journey and even now I always tell him I know it hurts and I know this may not matter because it's coming from MOM...But you have 8 more years of not being in the "cool" group, and your cool group has 8 more years of being cool.
I use his father as an example, he is 54 and he wasn't cool for 16 years. But he was very cool when he was top in his college calculus class at 16 ! Now he is a Great Physician and all the old cool guys today think he is the coolest !
So do the Math...do you want to be cool for 8 years or 38 years?
He Gets it. I just continue to be his cheerleader as exhausting as it is.

BTW... He doesn't like the word Dork either he finds it "quite offensive".