Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Preschool 2010-2011

Polly, I loved your good news story!

I have heard the argument for both sides when it comes to early education but I personally think it really depends on the personality of the individual child. Take my DD. She is a shy empathetic child but also appears to be a pleaser while at school. When we had her in the other school we also saw all of the above but with a twist: dummy down. These early years set the stage for DD and she will either learn that it is not only okay but necessary for her to be herself and to also be challenged along the way.

If I look at the school strictly on academics than I would be panicked since DD was able to do their curriculum for her class by age 2 and this school is 2 years advanced compared to public schools in our area. But she is challenged through other ways: languages but again she is closing that gap quickly so crossing my fingers. I will say this: the past year of placing her in a social preschool only to pull her 2 months later and enroll her in this school, I noticed her lack of interest in much of anything academic while at home. She was very much about imagination. She still advanced in her thought processes and her questions became more intense and complex but she could have cared less about reading or math during that time. She did focus some on writing and lots of time on drawing. Over the summer this changed drastically. She started asking to read and now is focused on reading and math. Thinking about it I think perhaps she was adjusting to the environment and the foreign language. Now that she feels comfortable with her own abilities within Spanish she is able to focus her attention on other things.

But to look at your concerns: is it bad that the school's curriculum aligns with what you do at home? I would see it as reinforcing. There is a comfort in fluidity.

And as for full time vs. part time ... JMHO but I think part time at this age is the best choice. They get the best of both worlds and we planned to put DD in part time this year but with the new changes in the school and our plan to keep her there through elementary, we felt it important to enroll her full time so she would have less of an adjustment when she did move on to kindergarten. Was a hard decision and I still watch the clock on some days ... tick tock tick tock ... but I know she is enjoying it and loves school.

Thanks for your response. So much of your concerns mirror our experiences - dummying down (although I call it social adaptation) and being engrossed with imaginative play - but I know our DD's are different from each other. My DD is not shy and does not sit still. She's supremely active - gives most boys a run for their money. Also, I think your DD is PG and I don't know that my DD is.

I've shied away from an academic setting, mostly because DD needs full body, experiential learning and I worried she'd get in trouble and have her wings clipped by an environment that didn't have a large dose of exercise in the mix. (Although books are her favorite thing, sitting and listening at the library story hour never was her thing... she'd rather climb the stacks and read at home.)

DD cried (for the first 5 minutes) when I left her at her preschool until just 3 months ago. Yesterday she said bye in the morning, hopped in the car with dad, came home 9 hours later, said Hi and sat down to dinner. She didn't miss me at all! I was so excited! So she's in this new school of 3 year olds for two 8 hour days. I'd consider full time if we could afford it and there was space available... we'll see how the first two months go, then I could ask grandma for some subsidy I guess.

The reason I was underwhelmed by their plan was that they read the 3 year olds chapter books "because we don't limit what they are able to understand," let them get super dirty, promote exploration, take them on field trips, have them exercise, let them play outdoors at least half the time, and they give them adult food to eat. I do all that. They don't focus on reading or academic skills. We don't push that, but I thought they might.

Last night I tried to interview DD about her experience. She didn't make new friends, she talked to the teachers. "The other kids don't talk much," she said. My heart sank. I know she's rather quiet around other 3 year olds, but this concerned me. A the parent teacher conference I had tried to warn the teacher that DD has a very advanced vocabulary and hangs out with 10 year olds, but she pointed out that there are other good reasons to be wih other 3 year olds. I see some wisdom in that, but... (feedback needed on this)

The good news is, DD can advance through the other classrooms at her own pace. They might move her in with the 4 year olds or kindergarteners if she is ready. I think they have testing, too, but I'm not ready to ask.

The other thing is, DH is waiting to hear about a job 3000 miles away. If he takes it we will move in 1-2 months. So if nothing else, we'll test this out for that period of time. The new job would be in a major metropolitan area with many more school options than our little California town in the middle of nowhere.

Sorry this is so long.

My oldest DD now 12 never learned to socialize with her age group until I moved her into a gifted class. She went from a quiet withdrawn read a book in the corner of the playground to a leader in less than a week, no meds, no therapy. It was an awesome transformation. She is full of energy....she gives the boys a run for their money. I have yet to meet a girl with as much energy as she has besides maybe myself at her age...smile... What I wouldn't do for a bit more of it now.....

I find myself uncomfortable in certain circumstances where an older child and parent are interacting with me and my almost 2 dd. For example at the library the other day my DD was playing with a numbers puzzle that a abt four old wanted. my DD can be incredibly contrary. She was trying to make the five fit the two upside down. She knew the numbers. The four yr old tried to teach DD the numbers and the mom chimed in.. This will only make my DD more contrary....I thought for a moment and then decided to let them know that DD knew her numbers. I felt so uncomfortable. DD then took the zero and said zero and put it easily in the right place. I was glad that she did something to back me up so I did not appear this crazed mom. There was another interaction and then DD promptly put all the numbers in the right place easily stating if they were upside down or right side up....Then she interacted with the four yr old better. The other mom seemed fine with it. I was pretty uncomfortable. With my first one I had no idea she was advanced. I knew nothing abt gifted and just assumed people were being nice when they made comments. I told them it was because I taught her sign language which is what I believed..I was oblivious to their wonder and my guess is discomfort...ahhh ignorance is bliss for sure..so curious what others think and do in similar circumstances.

Yes, sometimes I have that problem, but how i respond depends on the situation. If people are being rude, I vent to hubby or a gifted friend. If they are rude to DS, I will stand up for my son, as diplomatically as possible. But I am *slowly* starting to realize (thanks in part to this board and part to some recent experiences) people figure it out, whether I say something or not, and even if they don't say much until later.

Flower, thanks for your post. It gives me so much to think about. Love the story of transformation. What confirmation for you as a parent! PS Wish I could get my DD with yours for a day.

Quick update: we decided to withdraw DD from her new, university-based preschool and keep her in her existing parks and rec school.

I think things are boiling down to me accepting responsibility for rounding out her education at home, and us not expecting a preschool to meet all of her educational needs. As my cousin said of his DD, who was reading the newspaper at 4.5, "we have her go to preschool to learn to stand in line." All the rest we can do - and are already doing - at home.

As for my wanting help with reading... about 6 months ago DD read a few words on her own. I freaked out a little, and went completely hands-off. Well, now I've calmed down and it doesn't scare me to help her if she wants help. Also, I was wrong about the class being all 3 year olds - there 25 kids aged 3.7 to 4.5 and DD is second to youngest. The teacher did note that, after two days, they were surprised to see how advanced she is, except for holding her fork at lunch. lol

Sorry to hear that the school didn't work out. Is your DD still excited to go to school?

Crossing my fingers! Yesterday we had a little incident at school where one of the boys was not minding and it resulted in DD getting a fat lip. They called me right away and I jumped in the car expecting to find a very distraught child when I got there. We have a previous experience with being bit on the nose by a baby. She was upset by this for weeks and weeks and still brings it up even now, so I expected to walk in to a child crying her eyes out.

She was perfectly calm when I got there and was holding ice up to her lip. Even seeing mommy didn't send her into tears. She told me that the little boy didn't intend to hit her. It was really just an accident. She showed such maturity in that moment.

The little boy was sent to the office and his parents were called. Though it was an accident it was due to him not following directions ... something he has a habit of doing. This year they put in place some new procedures and I have to say I like them so far.

So I'm hoping that this little incident doesn't set her back. She did mention that she was still upset with the boy and didn't know if she wanted to go to school but she got over that idea pretty quickly and was excited by the time Daddy was taking her to school. Crossing my fingers she stays happy and excited.