Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Basic skills

Reading on the unschooling post about someone not knowing anything about cooking, I thought about the teaching of simple skills that I learned as a kid.

I did not sign DD up for girl scouts or what the opening group was. It is not popular here. When I think back to my own experience with the group thing, that was very popular in my childhood, is where you learned some things that were, not lifesaving, but good things to learn. Practical things.

I am not a seamstress but I can repair a lost button, a rip. It seems little, but I remember doing things as a kid that DD doesn't do. I went through a period of embroidery with the neighborhood kids, and a period of knitting. I wouldn't try knitting mitts any time soon but I understand what it is to knit. I can build a shelf, not good enough to be on the Today show but simple things that can be needed in day-to-day life. Especially as a college student that loses a button on a sweater. I look on DD's life and wonder about practical skills she isn't getting. Maybe I am off topic on unschooling so before I post, I am going to cut and paste this on a new topic.

About regular life skills. Is your kid gettin' any? Maybe it is because we live in NYC. Maybe she would learn to take care of a garden or mow the lawn or clean the eavestrough if we lived in the suburbs. Install new faucets, put together shelves. Little things that I took for granted. But being able to build something with hammer and screwdrivers.

Takes me to a story about DH. I had gotten new drapes and DH decided to put up the hardware. We are talkin' 3 rooms. Each time, he is measuring but doesn't use the leveler. Each time, they are slightly off. As relationships go, you pick your fights and I lived with slightly off drapes in 3 rooms but it bugged me that he didn't learn that skill.

I hope that DD learns how to do the basic stuff, even with learning Mandarin, accelerated math, chess and piano.

I think that basic skills are part of the big picture and if you don't have an understanding of basic skills in various areas, you lose out. I met a man who described his job but I questioned him and asked if he was a boilermaker. He was surprised that I knew the term, but I came from a petrochemical town. I understand trade defintions. Simple, but you never know what you need in life. Understanding trades helped me leap in my Wall Street gig. I covered the Automobile industry and I was only 26 leading a global team because I just got what unions were really about and trades and the people that worked in them. OK not the only thing that made me good at the job but leveraged my understanding.

I am reading "The Element". Where passion meets talent. Maybe our gifted kid is an amazing philosopher. Does he/she get what he/she needs to become someone who writes books, builds a consulting business that leverages his passion and talent?

Basic skills help you whatever your path. Just because you build it, they will not come. Not today.

I am wondering if the current generation, along with not spanking our kids (though I would seriously like to on occastion) don't give our kids enough basic skills. Maybe it is just me.

Ren

I think a lot of parents are overwhelmed with homework and extracurriculars and don't teach this stuff. It is a little extra work all the time to teach these things than it would be to just do them ourselves. So many parents are strapped for energy and time, and just too exhausted or preoccupied to do it.

We are highly oriented to life skills, partly because we do cub scouts and that is essentially a life skills curriculum, and partly because we think it's important to be self-sufficient. Our kids are learning to cook, sew on a button, hammer a nail, do laundry (eldest is 8). When they are a little bigger we will work on basic plumbing and a little carpentry; we are waiting to paint their rooms until they are ready to help, so they'll know how.

What I wish we had time and energy for is the taking apart of toasters and such experimental activities-- we just don't. Everybody has a limit, I guess.

DeeDee

It's funny, because it seems that way to me now when I think about my 4-year-old, but thinking about my childhood I'm pretty sure my parents didn't feel that way. The "life skills" I learned in my childhood were mostly the result of my parents needing (and demanding ) help. I took apart & fixed the toaster when it broke. I painted (& repainted every summer, getting a bit better at sanding first each time) the back porch. I cooked meals most Sundays (my mom's day off). I was responsible for weeding & watering the garden & harvesting our produce. I helped my mom sew, and later sewed on my own. I did the laundry, cleaned the house, etc., etc.

These days, I let DD help me with almost everything I do, and so she is learning to cook & clean & sew. We'll have a garden next summer, and I'm sure she'll help with that. When she's older, I'm sure she'll help DH work on the car. We don't do much plumbing or carpentry, but perhaps we'll buy a house someday and if we do I'm sure she'll be helping us with that stuff.

I guess what I've seen is that some people just don't do these things on their own. They hire others to do them, and of course kids who are raised like that won't have much opportunity to learn how. But then, I don't necessarily think that these are things that one can't learn later in life if one chooses.

Excellent topic, Wren.


Same here. Mr W helps us with everything. And we include him in everything we do. Cooking, cleaning, mowing the yard, trimming trees, minor home improvements. When he gets to be 4 we'll start a car restoration project.

We bought lots of basic-skill type toys for our kids when they were very little: play tool sets, play kitchen sets, small gardening tools, etc.

My youngest is turning six tomorrow and my eldest is ten. The oldest and youngest enjoy cooking and they've all helped when we plant things and water the plants. The oldest is now able to use our real tools (saws, hammers, nails) and he's built a few basic things out of wood. He also did woodworking in school. The eight year old has done a little bit of sawing with close supervision.

We try to keep this stuff organic. By this, I mean no scheduled activities requiring driving. It seems more natural to do this stuff around the house as needed.

Val

This is an area where we have struggled somewhat. Our attempts at girl scouts were a disaster (my last straw -- a "career day" that featured a trip to the mall to talk to about working at a retail outlet. It turned into a shopping trip for the leader's daughter while the other kids watched). We also looked into 4H at the local county extension but the kids weren't interested.

We have fallen back to doing things as they come up at home. We recently shifted our approach and have had some success. We posted a list of suggested tasks. Every weekend each kid has to pick one task that they want to learn (or once they know it, just do it). We try not to have them do the same task more than two weeks in a row so they don't just do one thing. If they come up with something not on the list, we discuss whether or not something if sufficient to meet their work requirement. (e.g. fixing the split seem on a throw pillow or weeding the tomatoes). It's not perfect but it has worked a lot better than our previous benevolent dictatorship.

DH also has got them working on making their own toy structures. DD10 wanted to make a big wooden house. DH had her design it and draw it up on drafting paper. Her project included a lot of applied math. He had her do most of the tool work except for the table saw. (I just couldn't handle that one). DD8 made a creative latching system that let her open the roof of her horse barn for better access. DS5 got to use the drill press many joyous times to make a tinker toyish castle for his knights.

I still haven't figure out how to get them to learn things that they don't want to learn but at least they are learning some practical basic stuff.