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Deborah Ruf says that physical milestones are mostly irrelevant to giftedness

Knowing that you have a gifted young child can be very lonely. I hope your child's father is on board, as very close family - for me my husband and the grandparents, were the only place I could speak my mind at that point. The good news is that this part of bringing up a gifted kid usually does get easier. In the end other people really have no choice but to see and accept what your kid is, although they may call you pushy for a while. In my experience other first time moms can be the worst for this due to all those insecurities a new parent has, but honestly, you can come across the very best of people this way too - there really are a few who genuinely will support you, and those friendships are amazing.
Oh and welcome, vent away.

Your daughter sounds wonderful and very much like mine at that age, minus the potty training. I completely understand your frustration about being able to talk about your child. It was hard for me as well and I had to learn to just keep my mouth shut. When I did share I felt like I was being attacked or basically laughed at and told I had to be making things up. It is just easier not to share. The nice thing is now that DD is 3 1/2, I am able to share with some friends who also have gifted kids. Most of them are moderately gifted and are not as advanced as DD, but the moms recognize that and yet, they don't show jealousy. I just recently had a girls' night out with some of these moms and we talked about the kids of course, but nothing was trying to one up each other. It just feels good to be able to share what your child is doing, working on and know they too are finding their way with their own children. It wasn't anything I had when DD was a baby. My close friend of the time was competitive and childish and is no longer a friend of mine. Sometimes you have to know when to cut the strings and I finally did last summer. No longer am I dealing with the competitive conversations and having to watch what I shared so to spare her ... it just isn't worth it. This said, I still don't brag about DD or start a conversation about what she is doing. It is always the other moms encouraging me to share. I guess I have been burned too many times and just learned to keep my mouth shut, but am discovering there are moms out there that don't judge (at least to my face).

Welcome and, yes, there are somethings there that I can definitely relate too! BTW, your DR. sounds a bit off... has he given you any other problems with your DD being advanced? Maybe just something to keep an eye on. We had some relatives say similar things and that's never fun.

About talking to other moms, I've really learned good topics. I talk about DD's sleep habits (or total lack thereof!), her current interests, her crazy eating habits etc. It's not like her sight words come up in everyday conversation, you know what I mean?

Somethings DD does are too obvious (she's always been very physically advanced). If people ask when she started walking, etc. I just tell them but make sure I say it very matter of factly so it does not sound like I'm bragging. Also, I might even through in something about some of DD's bright friends who were late walkers if I see that a nervous/anxious parent is asking.

Most of my close friends know that it hasn't been all roses with DD. She's a WONDERFUL kid but definitely a handful so I haven't had to do with much envy.

BTW, I came over here when DD was 6 months so I can relate to have a demanding infant.

I wonder about this. The more I read this board, the more clear it seems that there are lots of different ways to be gifted, and probably lots of different neurological causes. So if you average over all the kids, some things may wash out, statistically speaking.

But I've seen enough comments here from parents whose gifted kids were physically advanced as babies, I do think there may be something to it. Maybe a subset of gifted kids have some kind of global neurological advancement (early myelination, maybe?) that causes both physical and cognitive advancement.

DANG, I really want to do some research on this!

Hi Rachael C,

It is too bad that we don't live in the same town and can go to the park together. Your little girl sounds delightful. I have an 9.5 year old boy who is a DYSer and a 8 month old daughter. I spent my entire pregnancy trying to tell myself that I should not measure my DD based on my son's accomplishments. I wanted to enjoy her and celebrate her individuality without ever conveying to her that she was somehow "less" than my son.

Well, considering the fact that she is blowing through the developmental milestones much faster than my son did , I don't think I have to worry. So if you want to share fun stories with someone who understands what you are going through, feel free to PM (personal message) me. It may not be as fun as going to a park or taking a stroller walk together, but we can hang out here.

ebeth

You know, I'm glad you mentioned this. I didn't want to "ruffle feathers" on the first day but I don't tend to agree and there is other research to refute that as well (I know I should dig it up before opening my mouth...maybe another day I can get the links :)). My daughter has met every milestone, physical, social, verbal, etc more than 30% in advance of her age peers. How can it be that they are not related? Did you have the same experience?