Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion I am really surprised....

Lots of people here are helping "the unfamiliar with gifted" by just being apart of this discussion group.

All I have learned has helped me be more accepting of my children. My DD is very sensitive to smells, turtle necks, light and pants around her waist. (It sounds a little funny to even list) I used to think she was being too fussy, but now I understand her more. I have so much yet to learn, but I think I've become more open-minded.

I want to thank all of you for your support and information. I have really been in a better mood since I joined this forum a couple days ago. I have even been more open in public. All the sudden I have started answering and asking questions again instead of just trying to blend in. It helps to know how many people are out there you think the same and want the same things for the gifted.

I too grew up in a rough part of town. I was the only child in elementary that was sent to gifted class twice a week. I thank my mom for the effort....she actually had to drive me back and forth to a different school just to attend the class. I remember many children who probably would have benefited from a gifted class, but the parents always stood in the way. My family and one other family in our neighborhood were the only two to have all graduated high school. I can honestly say I knew more gifted children in my "bad" neighborhood than at the optional high school I attended. Knowledge is considered taboo in some lower income neighborhoods. Even if the parents want what's best, the children often fight it because they don't want to feel uncomfortable. It was and is a sad thing to see. But I do have hope it can be fixed.

Wow Paynted28 - I'm really glad to hear this and want to accuse you of having a great spirit! Look how little it took for you to get to a place where you are willing to take off the mask and be yourself in a much deeper way than last week!

I remember when my son 'outed' me to myself, I arranged to sit down with my few best local friends and 'tell them' about how I am actually really unusually smart, how I mistakenly thought that I had to choose between closeness with other humans and being my sparkling self, and apologize for trying to hide myself from them. Each one laughed - 'You thought you were hiding it?' They had known all along! All that fruitless and wasted effort. When I realized that my son was 'watching me' and needing for me to model some honest self appraisal and self acceptance I had to start describing myself in ways that made me cringe by reflex on the inside - I had wasted so much energy trying to blend in and not be detected!

I still have my highs and lows, but it's nothing like what it was before I faced this part of myself!

Also - through my work, I come in contact with many families who are poor. I see the whole range of giftedness among my families. It's so much fun to 'see' folks who are also trying to hide, and to experience the joy when they can sigh from finally being noticed for at least part of who they are. I don't think that gifted children deserve to be accomidated because they will 'grow up and cure cancer' (although that would be nice) - I believe that they deserve to be accomidated because that's the decent thing to do! We'll get there....


((Hugs))
Grinity

I love this attitude. It is the number one reason people stay poor. They make excuses for themselves and come up with bizarre motivations for others' actions.

Here is an example.

When I was 7 and 8 I played on the top football team for my age group.

We had a mix of kids from different groups. I was the only nerd and often read other stuff while waiting for my mom to pick me up after practice. Most of the other kids had to read the playbook and memorize it or show they knew it. So we all read. It was pretty funny to see these little kids running around with notebooks full of laminated pages.

I got to be friends with one kid, a gifted athlete I call Prez. Prez just happended to be black.

One day Prez asked me to teach him to read. Prez was a very smart kid and by the end of the season, he was reading pretty good. I don't think I was a great teacher - he was just sharp!

One night his dad came into his room and asked what we were doing. "Austin is teaching me to read Pop!" Prez said.

His dad then went nuts. "What do you @&@&@&@& want to learn to read for? You gonna #&#&#&#&# be better than your folk!!? !@!@%!%@ "

You get the drift.

One of my roommates from college was from the Valley. Rio Grande valley. When he was in Jr High and HS he would get beat up by other kids for being too smart. This is a common event in Mexican areas.

The reason many gifted leave the public schools is so they don't get beaten up!!!

The Rich vs Poor argument is used to distract people from the very real power of choice that they have to make their lives better. At its root it tells people they are powerless to change things and switches the blame from themselves, their parents, their families, and their communities to others who, in reality, do not accept that they are powerless. It allows them and their community leaders to shirk responsibility for their lives. As a corollary it also places a lot of power in the hands of those who can get others to agree that they are powerless.

For kids from broken homes and poor areas, you have to target the parents and the group norms, not the kids. Once one parent or grandparent is motivated, then the rest is easy.

IMHO, kids need to be screened by Doctors and Nurses for GT just like they are screened for other things and parents given information to help them make decisions. For every parent, the need for a good education should be emphasized as much as immunizations.

Oooh - I like this!

Maybe it's just me, but I absolutely wouldn't trust doctors to make these sorts of judgments. And I say that as the wife of a doctor. I do think the educational system could do a much better job of screening and accommodation. But I don't think that shifting this task to another profession (especially an already overburdened profession) is the answer.

I dunno. Pediatricians already ask all the "Are they doing X?" type questions to screen for delays. That seems to be a frequent point at which parents get the idea that these kids are more than a bit ahead of the curve. My pediatrician "diagnosed" DS8 as HG+ at 15 months old when DS was naming parts of the body using the official medical terms like clavicle and knew all the colors in the big crayon box.

It doesn't seem like a big stretch. Granted, however, I have a ped that is really on the ball...

I'll add that peds have two other things going for them. Most are pretty bright themselves, and they have no specific axe to grind about education. For teachers, IDing a GT kid means more work for them. For a doctor, it's not necessarily anything more than something to write on the chart. It seems like a more neutral forum.

Yes, but when the ped realizes your kid can run intellectual circles arround their kid, they may not longer be supportive. Especially if you are approaching ped for an OT or psychological referral. (I think I need a new ped but keep putting it off until a crisis moment.)

I am snowbound and cranky today.

Ped are bright and they expect their kids to be bright too. Peds have succeeded in making it through the "system" and want their kids to be the best too.

Maybe that's a "nicer" response. Still cranky here.

True. But that's always a risk no matter who is looking for giftedness. You run the same risk with a psych, too.

I'm not saying a ped is a totally neutral forum. There's no such thing, of course.