Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Making up stories

I'm trying to decide if this is a gifted thing, a good thing or a problem. DS6 has a vivid imagination and likes to tell stories. The other day he told me how he saved everyone at the grocery store using his water gun, he'll tell me how he's built houses, things like that. I've always encouraged that and will ask him questions about the imaginary sequence of events. I've considered his imagination a good thing. However he'll also say he knows how to do things he doesn't or he'll say he did things he hasn't. I don't feel he's lying so much, I can tell when he's trying to deceive, but I fear he's crossing from using his imagination to becoming one of those people who make up things they can't do.

I may be overly sensitive to this because an ex boyfriend of mine did things like that often, he'd make up stories to make himself look better. The other night DS said he'd been to the Grand Canyon, we said no he hasn't. Later he mentioned it again telling us how he went over to the other side to visit his friend and he was insisting that he had been there. I don't know how I feel about this. If he tells a story and we say it's not true he insists it is. I treasure his imagination and I don't want to stifle it but I fear that it may be going too far. I'm certain he knows what's real and what isn't but he says things are real that aren't.

Any thoughts? He's unassessed and that's not an option for us now but I'm guessing he's right in the MG/HG range. He's also easily scared by movies and books which I've always related to the vividiness of his imagination.

Just a thought... could it be that he dreamed that he was at the grand Grand Canyon (for instance)? When I was little, even older than your son, I'd have very vivid dreams and sometimes have problems distinguishing them from reality. Even as an adult I'll have a very vivid dream and later on not be sure if that was a memory or a dream (granted, it's normally over something trivial now but I could see where a kid could get confused or misrepresent what happened).

We just used to talk from early about "that's a made-up story", "that's a true story", "is that a made-up story, or a true story?" (being just as happy for him to tell made-up stories as true ones, and treating them very similarly, asking follow-up questions etc., but wanting him to know the difference, and pointing out that he'd made a mistake if he said something was true when it was made-up). He picked up on this pretty young, and started to ask other people what kind of story they were telling him, too. I guess that might be a problem if you want him to e.g. believe in Father Christmas or the Tooth Fairy, but we didn't!

FWIW from conversations I've had with other parents I think it's a vivid imagination thing, not specific to gifties (though are gifties more likely to have vivid imaginations? not convinced).

Hmmm, I am all for imagination and encourage my DD to tell stories, pretend, make up songs, etc. and she seems to have a great imagination, but if she were not able to distinguish play from reality, etc. I think I would put less empahsis on encouraging imagination and more on making the lines between his imaginary experiences and his real ones. I have a vivid imagination and it served me well when I wrote and had work published, but it can also be a burden and can get activated by worry etc. so I think it is good for him to understand some boundaries around his perceptions.

Perhaps he has had vivid dreams and we probably have all had dreams that seemed so real, but it sounds like it happens more often with him so I might

We have a story teller sometimes too. We've found it very helpful to overly validate the story as if we believe him and then ask him, "Now was that a true story or a made up one?" He tells us and then we tell him what a great story that was. Then we politly as him the same question we just asked him and usually get the truth.

A work in progress for sure.

The Grand Canyon thing came up because of a game we were playing and it's just one example of many. He'll often say he did something he didn't.

Thanks for the feedback. I'm certain he knows the difference between truth and fantasy but I think he wants everyone to believe everything he imagines, if that makes sense.

I think I'll stress how we love his imagination more when he tells the stories. We have been telling him that some people will think he's trying to lie when pretending he did things he didn't and he hasn't said much to that. I don't know if he does this at school at all, his teachers haven't said anything.

I think I will just talk about the story with him when he's done. I have been telling him that we should start writing down his stories and turn them into books.

I just want to echo the previous advice.

We had this problem with dd (now 5) last year in pre-school. I would get quite upset with her when she had me believing a story to be true and then at the end I realized she had fabricated the entire thing.

I started to stress to her that I would enjoy a story so much more if I knew from the beginning it was "from her imagination." I would assist her with this by prompting her. For example..

dd: My teacher told me I was the best in the class at writing all my letters. And then she let me pass out the snack and I gave each child 30 cookies.

me: Your imaginary teacher let you do that? That sounds like a great story you created in your head.

I found this worked much better than asking her if she was telling the truth (when I knew she wasn't), since sometimes she would continue the lie and that would make me more mad.

Fortunately, I think it was a phase which she has mostly outgrown. But I was quite worried at the time that I had a little liar on my hands. In retrospect, I think she would simply tell me tales she *wished* were true.

Well, I don't know about DD4's LOG, but she is ALWAYS making up stories. I do know DS6's, and he does it as well... of course, this ability also leads him to make up stories about how he aquired $1.00 from his classmate and couldn't give it back to her the next week because she had moved, which was NOT true at all... Lovely.

ok. disclaimer. not a pscychologist.

I was just wondering if your ds is trying to tell you things through stories that he might not feel as comfortable to do otherwise.

like, stories about the Grand Canyon because he wants to travel or is feeling boxed in.
like he wants to escape something, but still take everyone with him.


Have you started talking about the stories yet? Where do the conversations take you?


My ds5.5 has always had a vivid imagination but lately has been telling more whoppers and bluring the line between made-up and real-life. We just moved and he isn't thrilled about it, new school, new friends, new schedule, etc. Lately he enjoys "tricking me" I think it gives him a sense of control since he there are more things beyond his control now.

I'm certain he's not trying to tell me something. The Grand Canyon thing came up over a game. Tonight it was a story about a couch he made for his friend mouse. Tomorrow it'll be something totally different. They're stories where he'll tell me he built a house then tell me the steps he took to build it. Things that are too fantastic, he doesn't make things up about the mundane. I pretty sure he's ever made up anything about school or anything that's happened at a kids house. He will say he knows how to do things he can't or knows things he doesn't and that's the part that bothers me the most, he uses it to get out of trying. He does have problems failing and is a perfectionist, I don't know if that's related or not.

We haven't talked about it much yet. I fairly certain he doesn't do it at school and I've never heard him do it with kids although it's not impossible. I think he mainly does it at home and with my parents.

I'll try the game and start talking about it more with him. Thanks!

ETA - We did talk a bit tonight. At first he said it's real but later said some are. I told him I won't tell him he can't pretend because I think it's neat but I do expect him to say it's pretend when someone asks. He said OK. In the next few days we'll talk more about it and I amy suggest writing a storybook.

I had wondered if it was a gifted thing because the lists always say vivid imagination and that clearly comes through in his play as well as the stories.