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JJs mom,

I understand where you are coming from... I was just clarifying that I think the source of the problem is that the other parents would resent my dd moving ahead. I am all for helping the others learn and this is generally how I do things. It is just that sometimes I want her to move ahead at her rate for the simple reason of the amount of time and money that is involved in this committment. If we only spent a couple of thousand/ year, I think I would be more willing to let dd teach the other kids. In fact, she usually does teach them. However, I feel it is now time for her to move forward.

Good luck!

Hi, while we have no dancers here and therefore no specific advice, I have also had my shares of similar frustrations with other competitive sports. And of course, when you are spending so much money and time, you want the best development fit for your child to grow.

Our experiences are with competitive USA swim (current), competitive soccer team and tennis playing USTA tournaments (current) -- and some sports are more dependent on the level of other kids practicing with you -- but I agree with GM5 - in the end, if you are not happy with the development level being offered, can you switch studios?



Or, can she do just private lessons? (In tennis, that is not possible, since you do need to practice as well, hence the frustration if you cannot find similar ability kids). In other sports, you see many people changing teams/clubs/programs to fit the kid. In tennis, we've switched quite a bit, because of it.

JLC01, I totally agree. You're not paying all that money for your daughter to teach other kids to dance. I think that's a great lesson to teach (helping others when you have a gift), but I'm sure she could do a little of that and at the same time advance according to her individual ability.

As for not accelerating your daughter because of the other parents, I think that's a terrible policy. Would they accelerate a child who isn't ready just because everyone else is moving up? Sometimes it's not all about everyone being equal. If so, our gifts wouldn't count for anything. If this is an area in which your dd is gifted, and she clearly is, she should be challenged before she gives up on it. I feel your frustration! Can you tell? LOL

Does the studio understand that your daughter's frustration is causing her to want to quit?

Hey, I just read an interesting article in one of the dance education magazines that are strewn around the school we take our kids to...the gist was that a child who is obviously advanced in dance should not be moved up overall, but allowed to take 1 advanced class during the week, so that they can try to stretch themselves. Other classes should remain at the regular level. Not sure I agreed with all the remarks, such as 'this child won't be able to socialize at that level', which I think completely ignores the possibility of intellectually advanced children who are also advanced in dance.
Otherwise the approach seemed to make sense, give the child some taste of not being the top of the class, a chance to stretch themselves, some time to be around more advanced students to emulate and have as role models, but not every single class so that they wouldn't feel stressed too much, and fall off on their own self confidence...

Not sure if that would fit your bill, but might be worth discussing with your school.