Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion What to say at get-togethers... here ya go:

One of GD5's Kindergarten classmates rides the bus with her and I asked her Mom how her daughter was doing with the amount of writing homework they were getting every night. She started telling me that she wished they would just work on learning their letters and sounds and not try to read or write words yet. She said her daughter can't remember sight words like "and". I wished I had never brought up the subject. I just said oh, GD doesn't really mind the words - just having to write so much. What I didn't say is that GD knew Dolche Sight Words through 3rd grade when she was 4 and has been reading since she was 3.

We will be spending Christmas with GD's 3 cousins, two are her age and one is a year younger. None of them are reading yet except the one in Kindergarten knows a few sight words. The family all knows GD can read because wherever they go together, GD is always reading the Kid's Meal Box or playground meals or something around them. But it seems to upset them if I talk about her abilites, so I don't bring it up. Luckily there will be so much going on Christmas Day that it shouldn't be an issue then - it's more in small group gatherings where problems arise.

The cousin who is one week older than GD wrote GD a little note the other day and GD looked at it and said "what's this?" Cousin had wrote a few letters to represent words and just said to GD, "never mind" just take it. These 2 are good friends as long as academics don't come up.

Oops - I meant to say reading the playground rules (not meals).

That's a good idea. At Thanksgiving, he waited until everyone was gone and then unloaded on me. By then, it was really too late to do anything about the problem.

I am really not sure how we are going to handle it. We have actually been asked by MIL not to mention anything DD is doing and to try to play it down....which acually upsets me pretty much. MIL knows how ahead DD is, but at Christmas we will be spending it with her 2 cousins...one DD age, and one in K. DD is 2.8, but has already mastered all K curiculum...has started reading a few months ago and is getting better and surprising us everyday. MIL does not want to upset her daughter when she sees what my DD is doing. I don't know how I feel about this. I never brag, but to not be able to discuss what dd is doing when others are discussing their children feels wrong. Also, it is pretty obvious with DD whenever anyone is around her who does not know her, they comment on how advanced she is. Also, the toys she are getting are not those that a ND 2 year old will get. She is getting 48 piece puzzles, dino books, etc...things she asked Santa for...and things I know her 6 year old cousin will be interested in...so we will see how it goes.

When I get asked, I blame his Kindergarten teacher. Even though I knew and wanted DS6 accelerated, his K teacher is the one that saw the need. And by "blaming" the school, I don't get as many awkward looks/comments.

Plus, once DS opens his mouth, they ask if he's really ONLY in 1st.

A lot of DDs friends seem to be quite advanced, so the parents seem not be get jealous about other kids abilities. For example DDs good friend (2.5) talks very well and I always enjoy having conversations with her, I love to brag her mom about her cute, smart and wonderful the little girl. She does the same thing to me It is nice not to have to compete, we all know how special our kids are.

We have some problems DHs sisters. Their kids are older than DD it is obvious she is more advanced at 2 than any of her cousins. MIL wanted to buy DD this kids computer his 4 year old cousin enjoys. It teaches letters and numbers. I know it would be just another unused toy in our house as DD does not like toy computers and she knows everything that toy teaches. I guess it is positive MIL thinks DD would enjoy same things than her 2 year older cousin.

Thanks everyone. Really, I do refrain from saying anything unless asked because well, then, they asked. I'm not going to lie about it.

I don't spell out anything either, so I provide very limited, kind of scattered information when I can. Sometimes they don't ask anyways.

Wow, Amazedmom, I really really don't know what I'd say to my MIL if she asked me something so ridiculous and rude. Oh, please don't talk about your child! WT?? (I would wonder whether to show up.)

Ds9 really impressed some folks over thanksgiving, but we got mainly wondering and polite comments on how mature he is and a real delight to chat with - 'he really communicates like an adult!'. (Of course this causes issues among other 9 year olds, but it was nice to hear.)

I was questioned by another cub scout parent about Wolf's age. He had mentioned that his son had just had a birthday and was just over the school cut off which had been a good thing for him. I said, "Do you REALLY want to know?" and he did, so I told him Wolf had turned 5 in August and was in 1st due to a grade skip. The parent suddenly seemed really defensive and awkward. Yay!!!

I hate the problem of having to be really careful when talking with others about my kids, especially when I'm talking to competitive parents who freely brag about their kids. I'm shy and don't like to call attention to myself, and I always feel put on the spot when people ask things about my kids and school. It's hard to be honest but withhold details. But, every year at Christmas it comes up because of Christmas cards. I'd really like to send out a Christmas letter with our cards because we live in an entirely different state than all our family and most of our friends. But, in said letter, I feel like I would have to leave out anything school-related which, let's face it, is a huge chunk of what life is about when you've got kids. I can't even metnion which grade my kids are in since my DD is two years ahead of age and my DS is one year ahead, and this would be construed as bragging. So, each year we just put in pictures of my kids with a little label stating their ages and don't include a letter. I sure love reading other people's letters, though!