Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments reading - perfectionism -using online phonics

hi all
i have been trying to figure out my DD5 for a long time. She's a push-pull kid. Says she wants to read but pulls back when trying to instruct her. We've suspected perfectionism and also insecurity about not knowing something. She often lies and says she CAN do things she CAN'T because she says she is "embarassed".. I wanted to let everyone know that about a month ago i bought an online version of the Explode the Code series for her. She never did workbooks (for reasons above) but i thought maybe if she could really work independently and not have me even SEE her work that she could drop some of the anxiety.

At first it was a disaster and i thought i wasted my money. She refused to start on book 1 activities saying they were babyish, too easy, don't make me do this baby work..ahhhhh! so i moved her up a bit (its like EPGY in that you pick a start level) and she struggled but tried to act like she was fine.. well then i backed her up to lesson one without telling her.. and though i think she knows it got easier, she seems to think the COMPUTER did it and not ME.. So for the past couple of days she has gotten absolutely hooked on the thing. I try to act like i am not paying attention. She is moving incredibly fast now. And today i heard something i never thought i'd hear my child say. " MOM, it gave me more challenging work for doing such a good job!".. so she is linking more challenging work with a reward which is just SO important to a healthy attitude about learning.

I am wondering if anyone else finds the computer a better teacher for our little perfectionists out there??

Renie, What a lovely success you have had! So glad your DD has caught fire.

I think the take home message isn't about computers being better teachers, it's about 'Each child deserves to be well thought about by at least one person!'

And you persisted and tried things and took chances until you found something that worked! Yippee! You were her 'one person!' ((little tear))

My guess is that you've been struggling because her 'range of readiness level' strunk into negative space. That what I call it when 'level 1' looks too babyish to the child, and 'level 2' is way too hard! This can be due to many things, but a steady diet of unchallenging academic work is a prime suspect.

So the good news is that with this success-after-struggle in her portfolio, her range of readiness level become wider, and it will be easier for her take on the next challenge, and easier for you to figure out what the next challenge might be.

My son also struggled with learning to read, in part I think because his eye movement maturity was 'only' age appropriate, but quite a bit because his pride wouldn't let him be seen failing at reading 'baby books.' 'NO BOOKS ABOUT TALKING ANIMALS' was his direction about what to bring home from the library. Trying to be light about the whole thing, I asked the librarian if she had any easy readers about weapons or poisons. Everyone thought I was nuts to be worried about his reading progress at age 5, and so I backed off, and just waited until he learned at school in 1st grade at age 6. (he knew all the letter sounds at age 2, and wanted to read from age 3) I wish I had had all of you with me back then.

DS13 now thinks that if I had tried to teach him phonics verbally instead of pointing to letters in a book, and quized him: If p-a-t is 'pat' what is 'b-a-t?' sort of thing. Who knows? The reader rabit phonic program didn't help him, and I didn't help him, but as he grew, it fell into place. I did better later in Math, but it took at least 3 years to get to where you are now with my understanding of my son.

Love and More Love,
Grinity