Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Perfectionsim in College

I am a full time college student (17 credits) and a full time worker (35-40 h/week). I am a pre-med major and I work as a phlebotomist at the local hospital, TYPE A personality and once identified as an (HG) child. However, I am feeling so stressed out, but instead of slowing down, I keep going and going, and recently I fell ill because of the amount of pressure I put on myself to perform with excellence; I went to the hospital today to see if I had the flu and the results came back negative; the doctor said it may just be a stomach virus, however, I did not tell him about the stress in my life.

My other colleagues said that my body just may be tired because I work all the time while trying juggle school, novel and mathematics journal publications, and a healthy family life.

I think this will to excel may be starting to work against me. Is this perfectionsim? Is this perfectionism on the verge of become neurotic in nature? And is perfectionism to the point of illness a common situation within the gifted population? And lastly, how can this be fixed?

Wow, LG, I'm exhausted from just reading about your day-to-day life! I work more than a full-time job and have lots of family duties, but you make me look like a slacker

It sounds like you are stretched beyond the limits of what most humans could possibly do. You didn't specify why you have to both work and go to school full time - is it financial responsibilities, or the desire to excel in everything? You could probably answer that question better yourself...

I have never been in your position, but I have worked >100 hours/week for weeks and months at a time. My experience was that I could not do it all. I work much less now, but I still have to prioritize, which means setting limits, and letting things "go" if they aren't critical. Anyone who has seen my housekeeping skills can attest, I have let some things "go", for my own health and inner peace. I cannot be everything to everyone all of the time.

I would make a gentle suggestion - figure out what can "go" in your life. Can you cut back your classes at school? It may take longer to get your degree, but you may find you can function more efficiently if you're well-rested and healthy.

LG,
I sent you a PM.
Good luck!

I don't have to work. I just have high aims I guess; my dream is to go to Brown University, and I sort of compare myself to my peers, which probably isn't healthy either. I mean, when your friends are the children of parents who've triple majored, and those friends go off to Berkeley and places, it sort becomes a standard of excellence.

Working in the hospital is something that I wanted to do because it placed me in an environment that was best suited for my goals: a trauma surgeon. Financially, everything is paid for and I owe no money...its more of desire to excel in everything.

All future publications will look well on my CV, but appearances aren't the only motivation. If I had the time, I would double major as literature is my passion, as is mathematics, and that's why I work with the math professors to help get it sent to the right places. But um....I don't know. I think I will have a "come-to-jesus moment" with my psychology professor tomorrow.

Sounds a lot like my college experience. I did a double major and a minor + 2 jobs + a music ensemble + play a sport in college. Yep, I was insane. However, it was a lot of fun.

That being said, if this is making you so crazy that it's putting you in the hospital it is time to cut back. Honestly, grad/med schools are going to look mostly at your test scores and grades. Yes, all the extras help but you have to survive college first to even apply! And a key component to that is watching out for your mental health. Don't compare yourself to others, that leads to a slippery slope, especially since you're always going to find someone else who does something better than you.

Another thing. I'd seriously consider trying to focus more on your major rather than all the trimmings. I speak from experience. I was a little too well-rounded in college and once I hit grad school it made it a lot harder to adjust to just one topic. I actually went through a really down stage because I was not used to being so focused.

That sounds a little bit like when I was in college (MD/PhD program right now), except that I needed to work while in college to help out my family. I definitely felt the pressure to achieve, especially after a less-than-stellar first year of college and switching career plans from education to medicine (taking 20 credits of pre-med a semester). Through a lot of trial and error, I figured out that doing what I love and making time for family and friends (since it was college, after all) helped me to stay focused and less stressed out, even while doing a lot of extracurriculars and research...
I found that stress happened when I felt obligated to participate in activities that were not really my passion and merely took up time from my day.

As for medical school, provided you make decent grades and get a good MCAT score, schools usually look for meaning in your extracurricular activities and commitment to one/a few, rather than how long your resume is. College grades (and even the first two years of medical school) don't really determine residency placement, unless you failed something badly without any mitigating circumstances--more how the clinical years go and what the letters of recommendation of someone in your field say about your potential in the field.

Feel free to send a message if you want to talk more about it...