Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion frustrated mom with Montessori

Thanks Cathy and Kriston for the posts - I just get so frustrated and it's nice to hear other's comments about the issue - we finally got her on board with the SPD and she is really going out of her way to understand that whole thing and has really done amazing things in the room to accomodate those needs and now I feel like I have to start from square one to try to get the point home about how to deal with gifted children...it's that old $10,000.00 question - do you just let your child be happy and learn to socialize and hope we can meet his needs intellectually at home(now that his needs are finally being met with his SPD and he is comfortable) or do you worry that his intellectual needs aren't being met...wish there was a happy medium! I actually did the DIBELS assessment on him about 10 months ago since I was a K teacher and was on the county's DIBELS assessment team and he scored well past K and First Grade skills and well into the second grade before I was out of my league in knowing how to give the test for the upper levels...so I have a very good idea where his skills lie and his reading level, i just need to get that across to her...his newest thing is that he earns an allowance now and is big into learning how to make change with coins and is massively into multiplication so we have been making up lots of games with those skills at home (all at his request) - today when I picked him up, she told me that I really need to stop doing these activities with him because "the repercussions were showing up in the room" - meaning that he was way beyond the K level skills she had wanted to focus on with him in the fall..she just doesn't see the whole picture of differentiated instruction for each child and I honestly don't think she knows how to teach anything but the same lessons she has been doing year in and year out...so here is a child who is way beyond her "normal" lesson scheme and she is lost....I think maybe another face to face sit down with a large amount of time alloted so that we can get our concerns out in the air *again* and then offer to purchase leveled readers at his growing pace and would even offer to purchase elementary level Montessori lessons for her if she honestly does not know how to go beyond the simple basics....I just hate yanking him out now that he feels like he actually fits in and has made some friends and is comfortable and end up spending maybe the whole K year trying to get a new school/teacher on board with understanding gifted/SPD children and my son I know would be a mess trying to start all over from scratch again....things could be a lot worse I suppose!

Whatever you decide about curriculum, I think that this issue does need to be addressed. Maybe you could talk to her about how you think it's important for your son to pursue what interests him and how you believe that fits with the essential Montessori philosophy. Give her some articles that explain that what you are doing at home is not "pushing" him. And talk about how ideally you would like him to be able to extend what he learns at home with activities at school. Try to make it sound like a partnership between you and her rather than you demanding that she does something extra for him. At least, that's how I envision the ideal teacher I could go to her and say that DS has been working on multiplication at home and she would offer some multiplication activities. Of course, you may have to look for some materials yourself--it sounds like you are already thinking along those lines.

My guess is that she thinks you are pushing and skipping important things. I know that our vice-principal advised me not to skip DS because "he wouldn't learn phonics". Actually, he already knows phonics, but I don't think she really gets that. In her mind, he is missing it because he "skipped" it.

Cathy

If you are in the San Diego Area, The Academy Learning Center might help.

Good luck.

That's really tough. We had DS5 in a montessori program for half of last year (when he was 4). We would have had him in sooner but it had just opened after branching off from another area Montessori program. Anyhow, they were a lot different and were able to accelerate in lots of areas. He was only there for about 6 months, they were not able to do much acceleration in math but did what they could and brought in some things. They were honest in telling us that they couldn't really accelerate more in math...but I knew they could in other areas. He didn't even do reading there...just read at home. But like I said for us there was enough other stuff and we wanted him to get excited about learning again and it worked for us. It sounds like with your experience they are looking at it quite selfishly however, because not allowing him to grow because they don't have the materials. That is ridiculous. We are not keeping DS in montessori for next year because that school only went through K and also because he will be going to public and skipping K. I do like the whole montessori approach when it is done properly, but holding kids back means that they are not doing it properly. Good luck!

It sounds like the teacher doesn't even understand Montessori - let alone giftedness. By holding him back and only "introducing certain work at certain times" she's completely going against the Montessori philosophy of letting a child prgress at their own pace. Our Montessori teacher did the same thing and held the kids back. I understand that they may have a plan that generally works for "everyone" - but if they are going to keep an extraordinary person in their school -they need to make accommodations or ask you to leave. I think using library books would be a great idea. But also - why are you so afraid of going to the public school if you have teacher experience and it sounds like you have a specificed learning disability? Couldn't you just get your child an IEP before he even starts or accelerate him to start in 1st grade? IEP classes are usually quiet, and a lot smaller - I thought that was the whole idea anyway?

Oh Belle!

What are you going to do next year?
Can you fill out paperwork and qualify yourself as a McKay school?

Who knows if you can open this teacher's mind? Is she the director?

In kindy, especially with a half day program, if he is having fun and making friends then sure, you can afterschool him. This teacher seems to have some definite strengths.

Oh, maybe the director will 'hire' you to tutor your son at her school next year, using his tuition money to pay you? Can you sublet space in her school and open a 'school within a school' for your son and a few other Mckay families?

Just thinking...
Smiles,
Grinity

I had to do a double take when I saw this up on the board...This is my DS's last few months at his Montessori he was at before we pulled to homeschool him all last year - so it's a really old post (5/08) ...we sure wish that we could have kept his first Montessori teacher for the rest of his elementary years (there were two that team taught and then our fav left and went back to work in the younger classroom) - she made the first 3 years at his Montessori school amazing and an awesome experience for him in so many ways - wish we could have cloned her -the teacher that was left in the room just was a mess - she was a good person but had no clue how to handle a gifted child.

Looks to me as if your thread was resurrected for advertising purposes (based on my experience on other Internet fora).

Too bad your great Montessori experience didn't continue; it's disheartening to me as a new kindergartener's mom to read of so many problems with schooling gifted kids. It makes me wish there were a forum just for success stories, so we could have some hope. <grin>

Well, I just logged on to ask questions and get opinions on montessori, and I found this post. The learning environment sounds perfect for my DS6, but my concern is that they will not differentiate the curriculum or allow DS to move ahead when he is ready. This post confirms my fears. I know all schools are not created equally, but...I spoke with the Montessori school today and asked if it would be possible to do a placement test so that my son can begin in first grade, and she said if he hasn't completed a kindergarten program then he'd likely have to go into K. Well, that's why we're pulling him from his current school. There's no challenge with the K curriculum, and I'm not about to put him with 3,4, 5 year olds! Every time I try to come to some conclusion about school, I'm always led to homeschooling. It seems like the only alternative. Now, how can I cut our expenses so we can afford for me to stop working?!

Ok, by the time I read the whole thing I saw that it was an old thread (don't look at the dates when I read whatever's at the top, LOL) but I have to ask:

Did you stop giving him new things to read, or did you run out of books like she seemed to think you would?

There are only so many books in the world, you know, and once you've read them all....