Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion What can a normal toddler do and learn?

Is there any way to multiquote here?

ColinsMum: I'm not sure if it is gifted denial or not as I have no idea if DD is truly gifted or fairly normal smarter than average girl. Maybe a normal advanced 2 year old is at the level of normal not delayed 4 year old?

Skylersmommy: I mostly get comments from family, some of them are biased (grandparents) and then the one's who have kids older than her actually try to down play DDs capabilities. I don't get that kind of comments from strangers as often I can not even get her to say Hi or Bye Bye to them, she is so shy. At the daycare I don't think they know what she can do, I have not asked though. English is her weaker language and at 2-3 year olds group they do not seriously learn anything. They did tell us that she has lot of new ideas and the other kids like to follow her lead. She has been potty trained for a while at home but at the daycare she does not even tell them that she needs to go to potty. Funny how kids can be shy outside home and little chatterboxes at home. Makes it just more difficult to know if what we see is real talent or just bit above average smart kid.

passthepotatoes: I'm sorry if I offended you or anybody, surely was not my intention. I'm sure why you see these kind of threads here is because we are not comfortable to ask these questions anywhere else. I really truly have no idea what normal 2,3,4 or 5 year old can do or can not. DD has been normal for us and I just recently started thinking if she is not "normal" after all. You can find so much info on web about normal development but really nothing of what is truly advanced, not just "not delayed". I might not be the best person in choosing my word as english is a foreign language to me. By saying that probably lot of kids can learn things at an early age it they are exposed to them, I did not mean that you need to expose your child to them. Just that it makes it difficult to recognize your child's possible gifts as often these kind of things are mentioned as possible gifted traits. Meaning that just knowing colors at 2 does not make one "gifted", as not knowing does not make them "not gifted".

Oli, I really sympathize with your reaction to the lists. I had pretty much the same reaction to them.

I have a series of books can't remember the exact titles, something like Your 1 year old, etc.. that listed developmental milestones in separate lists for each age in physical, emotional, social areas. List 1 was "the majority of children this age should be able to do these (if your child is not you should consider talking with your pediatrician)." List 2 was "many children this age can do these." List 3 was "a few children this age can do this." I'm noticed that most other lists I've read seem to lean to somewhere between list 1 and list 2 and my sons have always been generally around list three or beyond for most categories.

At first that made no sense to me because my kids were my measurement for normal (even though I've done daycare and other childcare work). It finally sank in when I started paying attention to a couple other children I know very well who fall in the bright, but not gifted category. I have a close friend who has a daughter a couple years older than my eldest and her youngest is just a couple months younger than my little one. My eldest works at a higher level than her oldest in pretty much all areas and my youngest seems at least 6 months to a year farther along than the age difference between him and the younger girl would lead you to expect.

I've just recently realized what my particular issue was with all this. It just made no sense to me that something that just came so simply and easily to my kids could possibly be not as simple or easy for other kids. The thing is that my friend probably does more stuff with her girls than I do with my boys. They have at least as many opportunities to soak up information, but they just don't do it the same way my two do.

I have kids who are different enough from the kids that are the norm for the charts that it was hard for me to accept that it was my kids that were different and easier for me to accept that the charts must be wrong. It actually took me quite a bit of time and emotional stress to come to terms with it. I really had to adjust a lot of my preconceived ideas about how my life with my kids would be because of it. Because they are who they are conventional schooling probably will not be an option for either of them, more than likely they will be having to deal with knowing that they are different from other children from an early age, and I have the possibility of early college entrance for them haunting me like a ghost on the horizon. It has been a big adjustment for me, but they are still who they are. I just had to figure out what they were and accept it.

Not that this is what you are going through, but when I read your post it reminded me SO much of that time in my life that I felt I should share my perspective...

I just hit quick reply for each post I want to quote.


If that is what you are looking for, Ruf's levels might be the thing for you. I am not a big fan, but they do help put some perspective on it. (I think when you are talking about a child with many/most of the skills and abilities of a normal child TWICE his or her age, that cannot fall within the realm of "normal advanced.") I hope that helps.

Wow- I must say that I have had almost the same reaction to the developmental milestone charts- part of me has been amazed as to how quickly my LO has moved through the different skills, and part of me has felt bewildered- sort of like- what next? If he's mastering skills that a 3-4 year old is still unsure of, then how do I guide him to appropriate peers, schooling, etc. I'm already worried about the lack of GT school programs here and as my LO is very physically busy, it may be even more difficult.

SO glad I found this site- I really appreciate hearing other's reactions and stories.

I just took my DS in for his 3yo exam.
The Dr. asked me if he could run, if he knew his shapes & could name a few colors.
In my mind...Well I'm pretty sure he can read RED and BLUE but I think TURQUISE might snag him. hehe

I never looked at the regular milestone charts but I am pretty sure 99% of 3yo can name colors and shapes even without instruction. Right?
I think that ruf's levels of giftedness are a slightly better gauge. Looking back, it is accurate for my DD7.

This made me chuckle. When DS5 was between 1-2 yrs old, I had the same feelings as oli. And it was definitely GT denial. Granted, we still don't know the level of DS5's giftedness, but we do know he's more than just above average.

Wow, you couldn't have said what I feel/felt more perfectly Wyldkat!

This is exactly how I feel. I really have hard time believing that my child would be so special. Of course as her mom I think she is amazing but I just thought that I'm biased and all the toddlers are like her. Now I'm starting to realize that maybe it is not the normal for her to learn things so fast. Like I did not think to introduce alphabets to her as she was just a baby in my mind until one day she started pointing them from food containers and laptop. I showed her abcd and thought that it was pretty amazing how she learned them so fast. Then suddenly she knew them all, I'm not even sure from where she got them.



Thanks for sharing, it is nice that there is so many of us in similar situations here. DD has always been naturally very athletic, I'm thinking of enrolling her to gymnastics for the fall. She would love it.



At this point I still have no idea what a regular kids does Yes doctors appointments are so funny. Sometimes I have actually hard time understanding what they mean. Like with shapes I might answer that if she does not concentrate she sometimes mixes up pentagon and hexagon LOL



You would think that it would be easier accept, I should be happy shouldn't I?

Hard to say with those levels but she clearly seems to be somewhere between level 2 and 4. She is more advanced than level 2 but then missing some things from 3 and 4 (weird but she misses less from 4 than 3). Maybe I should buy her book. I'm just afraid that if I get a book about gifted kids I would end up forcing her to be gifted even if she is not.

Maybe you can borrow it from the library? Regardless, there's no way to force a kid to be gifted. If she is more advanced than Ruf's level 2, then clearly the book was written, in part, about children like her. (Once again, I am not a big fan, but I do think Ruf's levels are a good eye opener.)