Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Junior High and Gifted Girls

Each year seems to have a problem for us-
NOTE: You can skip down to "Junior High" if you want
1st grade- got transfered into "advanced" class, but did not make the actual gifted program, so that was a bummer
2nd grade- Was not placed back into the advanced class, and continued to not make gifted
3rd grade- Watched greatest rival make gifted program, while DD just sat there thinking "I'm smarter than him". Too bad she couldn't prove it, we forgot to try out that year.
4th grade- Still not in gifted program, although teachers were recognizing that she might be gifted. Went through strange defiance, got mad at teachers, got more sensitive. (and sometimes these things weren't her fault. she cam home one day, upset because her teacher got mad at her for telling a friend that she was doing Sudoku wrong. DD was right, but the teacher still got mad) and lastly, she REFUSED to do "reading logs", although she might read, she refused to fill out the form, thus causing zeros, refused to get parent signatures on behavior cards, spent most of the free day fridays in "bad behavior" zone (for people who had to "sign the book" that week), and had grades below the 80's that teachers were mad at her for.
5th- MADE GIFTED!!!! but had to wait for the next year to start. So here goes another long year. The behavior issues from the year before were mostly gone, but not entirely. This year was kind of a repeat of the 3rd grade year, but what annoys me is that the teacher said to her face (after a MAP testing), "maybe you are kind of good at math", or something along those lines. I think the teachers were starting to get it.....
JUNIOR HIGH- I should be happy now, right? Wrong.. OK, we're in gifed.... thats helped a lot. But slowly yet surely, DD13 has removed herself from social activities- she gets home and stays in her room or on the computer all day. She also very stubborn and never does homework. Therefore, she gets a lot of bad grades on daily grades. Now, I'm exaggerating a bit, she has managed to maintain an A in all but the gifted class, which she may still have an A in as well (maybe an 89 at the lowest), but thats because of bonus points on math tests, so she can get a 105, not a 100. I don't know if its under achievement, lack of motivation, laziness..... Whatever, this serves as my back story, a question, whatever, just putting this out there....

Some kids have benifitted greatly by talent search sponcered summer camps. Did she take the ACT or SAT college enterance exams to see if she might qualify?

Are her not gifted classes tracked or heterogeneous? What percentage of her week is spent in the gifted classes? Are you interested in family theraphy? Do you live somewhere where you might be able to find a therapist who 'gets' gifted kids?

Do you suspect that she might be more than the usual kind of gifted, and therefore still not getting her needs met, and therefore still super p.oed?

Does she love anything?

What kinds of support to you have?

Love and More Love,\
grinity

She loves music.... but not rock kind of stuff, she likes soundtracks and classical music (although she is not against pop/rock type stuff and enjoys listening to that as well, just not as much as classical). And she plays 4 instruments, and is begging for more.
She took the SAT and got grand recognition through Duke TIP, which I believe was the top 3 percent (?) of the talent search.
And according to her, the teachers put everyone in the honors class except for the ones who ARE NOT good at the subject, not everybody is in regulars except the ones who ARE good at the subject. Apparently 60% of the grade qualifies for that.
This started out as a post about math and science love diminishing in middle school girls, but it turned more this direction, hence the title. So I still would like to discuss that.

Sadly, I think middle school is where we lose girls in math and science.

It certainly sounds like she is quite unhappy in her school situation and is crying out for help w/ her behaviour in school.

Although she still is well liked, somewhat popular, loved by the teachers, etc..... its not like shes dying at school or anything.

If I'm understanding this right, she could certianly be bored at school and missing the chance to learn with her peers. Grand recognition is a wonderful recognition. Does TIP offer any summer camps or weekend experiences that would put her with other 'likeminded' kids that are accessable to your family? Perhaps if she met other girls that like Math and Science, then it would be easier for her to accept this part of herself?

Best Wishes,
Grinity

WEll, depends on how you define dying lol. Seriously. I saw similar things in my DS....personality changes, coming home and going straight to his room even when his beloved grandfather was here, short-tempered, prone to outbursts, constantly saying he was so bored at school, breaking down in tears over school - granted he was much younger than your DC --- all the while he had friends at school, teachers really liked and enjoying having him, but I had the refusal to do homework, etc.

Can you move the computer to the more "common" area of the house?
This way she won't stay in her room all the time

Oh, its in the office, but shes either in her room or on the computer. But her brother has a computer in his room, and he is the same (if not worse) then her.

I wasn't clear from your post...
Are there limits or rules? It sounds like they are allowed unlimited computer use even if homework is not done.
What sorts of activities do you do as a family?