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I liked your comment and agree. I think we learn a lot about the kind of people we WANT by FEELING the consequences of others negative behavior. We certainly wouldn't want to make some other family FEEL the way we just felt.

Ii can be a catch 22 for me b/c sometimes I just react. But it is hard to find a line b/c DD questions why others are allowed to get away with things and not her. Today at lunch this toddler who was younger then her was allowed to walk around the whole place and DD was upset. Why does that kid get to and not me? I had to explain to her that the other child has not been taught to behave properly but she has and she knows better.

I am sure just as much as I am appalled by my friends' kids behavior they probably think I am to hard on my DD or expect too much from her. I try to keep my expectations in mind when around the other kids but sometimes I can't help but question the behavior when it is something that I would not tolerate from DD.

It will get better once the kids are not toddlers anymore. At this age lots of bad behavior is ignored. Expectations for toddlers are quite low and sometimes there is a good reason for it

I am like Kriston. I don't let other kids get away with bad behavior. I don't care if the child is mine or not. I let the parents handle the situation but if they are not around or ignore it then I will step in.

I do not let kids or even adults get away with rude behavior.

I once put a 6 year old kid in the crack of a tree who was misbehaving at a get together - he was hitting other kids and would not stop. I did it right in front of his dad. I let him bawl until he agreed to not do it again. That dad has gotten a lot better and his son is pretty good now.

Its amazing what some parents will let their kids get away with. Some parents need an example - others will never get it.

EVERY kid I ever fostered had enormous issues with boundaries. They always came around - its so easy to set them.

My mom always used the "if so and so jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you follow?" I say the same as you and let them know how other people also love that they are so well behaved.

Manners are kind of a pet peeve of mine, I correct other peoples kids all the time. That and proper English. Can't help it, it just pops out!

Well...It's not so much that they want to behave badly; it's that they think other people should have to behave well. Since I agree with my kids, I don't generally pull out the Brooklyn Bridge. I save it for things that I think my kids are being dumb about.

[quote=Kriston}

Well...It's not so much that they want to behave badly; it's that they think other people should have to behave well. Since I agree with my kids, I don't generally pull out the Brooklyn Bridge. I save it for things that I think my kids are being dumb about.[/quote]

At a recent birthday party at a yogurt shop, kids were playing tag INSIDE the restaurant! I was appalled and refused to let my DS play. He was totally bummed and sat there pouting. He asked how come he couldn't play and I responded "Because I am a much meaner mommy." He murmured under his breath "You're not meaner, they're going to break something...." But he's still 5 and wanted to play tag!

We take him with us everywhere because he's 'well-trained' and I try to remind him of that. On a cruise last year, he thoroughly enjoyed sitting through 7 courses of dinner with us. I reminded him every night that it was a special treat because he has such nice manners. This is not to say that at home he doesn't lose it! But pointing out the special stuff they are allowed to do because they have good behavior seems to make it easier when I have to be the hammer!

I just want to point out that some children do have a harder time learning to act appropriately in public. Kids on the autism spectrum, for instance, will often appear rude, though it is not intentional. Please don't bash the parents and assume that they are being neglectful. Of course, if they are in the room and don't stop bad behavior, that IS cause for concern.

Exactly, Lorel. That's why I said that there's often stuff we don't know, and that I take care not to advise parents or to embarrass kids.

There's definitely a way to approach this with sensitivity and yet not to allow bad behavior to go unnoted.

Part of it, I think has to do with our own response--bad manners from a child doesn't mean that we adults get to respond with bad manners. Trying to make someone look bad or feel bad is never good manners!