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Joined: Aug 2008
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Though I hate having a label, I've also said "you do realize he's more than 2 standard deviations above normal? If he were 2 standard deviations the other way, would you tell me to 'just let him be a kid?'" Good point. If he were 2 standard deviations below they would say work with him and give him flashcards, since he is 2 above they say play with him and dumb him down. If he were average, they wouldn't say anything at all, LOL. funny how that works, isn't it?
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Joined: Oct 2008
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I have a child in my home that is 2 SD below the norm. He gets personalized services all day, every day.
Shari Mom to DS 10, DS 11, DS 13 Ability doesn't make us, Choices do!
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OUr family and friends don't know the exact numbers either. They just know that he qualified for DYS and is HG+. I did let the grandparents read the report as well as one really close friend. DS6 does not know any numbers nor do I plan to share them anytime in tbe near future.
Crisc
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I told my mom, who passed away a few yrs ago. She seemed to be the only one who cared without judgement.
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Joined: Apr 2006
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We are in the minority here as we have shared how each of our children scored on IQ tests with them. Our daughter really only wanted the �executive summary�, while our son wanted details and context including his actual FSIQ which as we stressed only measured how he did on that test on that particular day and that since IQ tests are not perfect they reveal a range rather than exact position relative to others in the world. We also discussed that although individual IQ tests have a higher ceiling than group tests, the personality, expectations, experience and possibly prejudices of the tester can factor into a score, as do those of the child. We let him know that we consider an IQ score an important component (but only a part) of a comprehensive ability profile and that even very high potential does not guarantee a better education, more success, higher income or happiness and certainly does not make a �better� person.
It would feel unnatural to my relationship with my son to withhold an IQ test score from him similar to when I ignored a directive from his teacher to keep his algebra readiness test results secret from him. If he wants to know, I believe he is most entitled to that information.
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And the last thing is, The Number really doesn't matter as much as what he does. If he's achieving at a solidly high level (and he is), everyone can see that. They don't need a number to prove that he's really doing it. If he isn't, then the number isn't getting him very far. It might be different if he had a lot of scatter, or if there were 2E issues where people needed to know how to accomodate him, but as it is he's well represented by his achievement, and that's a bit easier to share with the general public. I agree. As far as others, we don�t live near family, but neither set of grandparents were surprised to learn that our kids had tested very high. Other family members know (mostly through the grapevine) that our son has been accepted to some group like Mensa. They probably think we are sucker stage parents who pay expensive yearly dues to DITD. The only school personnel that I shared exact data with was the assistant principle at the last school. Her opinion as to the significance of a single IQ test seemed similar to mine and considered other types of evidence, in balance with signs of 2E and underachievement, as equally compelling indicators of general intelligence. I recently cited that ds is a YSer with DITD (and defined the criteria) in a request to the principle, counselor and science dept chair of his current school as we asked that they consider him for science subject acceleration next year. We provided curriculum info covering earth science topics taught at his last school and his self directed inquiries. He did receive an interview and then had an opportunity to test out of the usual 8th grade class. In this case, his IQ range may have been briefly considered, but the decision was based on his demonstrated subject knowledge, disposition, maturity, effort and desire (he was asked several times if this was what he wanted).
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Joined: Oct 2008
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Delbows... I didn't mean to imply that telling your child their IQ score was wrong in all circumstances. All I meant was that my DS6 would use it as ammunition for bragging rights. When he's a little older and wants to have a conversation regarding why he is the way he is, I'll tell him.
Last edited by BWBShari; 03/20/09 09:20 AM.
Shari Mom to DS 10, DS 11, DS 13 Ability doesn't make us, Choices do!
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Delbows... I didn't mean to imply that telling your child their IQ score. All I meant was that my DS6 would use it as ammunition for bragging rights. When he's a little older and wants to have a conversation regarding why he is the way he is, I'll tell him. Thanks, but I wasn�t offended by your post at all. This topic has come up before, here and in real life. My intended angle is that although I do give my kids an exact score if they want it, I assure them that it is only a snapshot or estimate.
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So, yes we did share scores I guess, but it was one of the main reasons for testing. Having been told most of my life that I was not very bright (and believing it), and then feeling like an imposter when I started getting good grades in the advanced classes, I wanted to spare my son some of that. I had a very bright sibling for comparison, as does he, and I guess I just hope to spare him some of the issues I had. (isn't that a recipe for disaster- reparenting yourself through your child?- yet sometimes it seems like the right thing to do) I absolutely don't think it's a wrong thing to do to share scores with children at some point, I think you had very valid reasons and sounds like you explained it quite well. Sometimes I would imagine that it could be very comforting for a child to understand that there is nothing wrong with them when they think that something is. It can help reassure them and explain what is different about them. I on the other wouldn't want to know my own IQ because I don't think it would be all that reassuring. I think I have a pretty healthy self esteem and I don't want to mess with it, LOL.
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