Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Have you explained?

I was in the article library most of the day yesterday and one theme popped up several times.

During many discussions with gifted kids from 7th grade on up, they repeatedly reported that no one had ever explained "being gifted" to them. It was one of the 8 great gripes in one article, but it came up in several.

I admit, I haven't sat down and explained it to my DS6 and wonder if the rest of you have?

In geneal terms only, We told him he just learns fast on some hings, just like some people learn how to ride a bike faster, or can run faster. Maybe not the best analogy, but it works for now.

Ditto to what Edwin said... DS is 5, so it's the best way to describe it. We've had to explain it to him bc he was beginning to question why his sister didn't get things or friends didn't read, etc.

We told DS6 a few years ago that his brain seems to work faster at times and learning new things sometimes seems to come more natural for him. I also try to point out that most people have things that they are better and faster at than other poeople. This seems to be enough of an explaination for him.

my DD explained it to me "you know mommy I'm really smart, that's why I'm in 1st instead of kindergarten" LOL

Of course I let her know we are very proud of her, but she also needs to be careful what she says to others so they don't feel bad. She's a sweet girl so I don't think that will become a problem.

As far as the word "gifted" we haven't used the term yet, so in that respect we have not discussed it.

No, not yet, but speaking as someone who learned she was "gifted" in grade 1 but had no idea what that meant until I started doing research for my DS4, I think it's one of the most important things I can do for my son. No one talked to me about giftedness, and my loose interpretation was that I was supposed to get straight A's, which I did all through junior high, high school and college, only to wind up in a career I don't like. Had I known that giftedness could also explain my defining social and emotional traits (including crippling perfectionism), all that hard work I put into getting straight A's might actually have gotten me somewhere. I think understanding all the implications of giftedness (good and bad) is key to a gifted kid's self-knowledge, self-acceptance and ultimate success.

That's what most of the kids in these studies said. That it meant that they should get good grades, but nothing else associated to it.

I like this explanation - understands more easily rather than processes faster. Thank you.

Shari,
I would tend to wait until he shows some kind of interest in this topic. My DS, for example, once told me (from his booster seat in the backseat of the car) that the other children in his class 'don't have a little voice.' He's the kind of kid that one really is forced to talk to about giftedness at age 6 - but the problem is similar to the 'Santa Claus isn't real' problem - it's really too irresistible for someone with age-appropriate maturity to keep to himself.

You can ask questions, though, about why he thinks that he goes to different classes for different subjects, and do other kids do this? The answer is usually that 'the principle' or some other 'Athority' feels that he will learn best this way.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

Well, between the problems with school last year, the rounds of testing, and the homeschooling, not to mention having a very socially aware and curious child who could read the covers of the books about GTness that I was bringing home...we sort of had to talk about it.

We told DS7 pretty much the same thing that MON said, also. We did stress that this is not something to brag about, any more than one should brag about the color of one's eyes or the length of one's legs. It's just part of the package some people are born with, and it's not how smart you are but how hard you work that matters anyway. We are pretty matter-of-fact about GTness around here.

I also regularly repeat to the boys the mantra my mother taught me: "It's nice to be smart, but it's smart to be nice." That's a biggie. Being smart is no excuse for bad behavior of any sort in our house. If anything, it means that the expectations for good behavior are even higher. Good manners are required and thoughtfulness is necessary.

If I may brag about my kids a wee bit...parents and kid-friends alike think they're really sweet boys, so I don't think that telling them about GTness has done them any harm. (The 7yo has needed to talk more about GTness than the 4yo, of course, just to be clear.) To be honest, I'm always a bit amazed at how much other parents rave about them. They're kids who always seem to be in the "welcome to come over anytime, even without their mom" class of friends. It's nice.

They do seem to be pretty well-adjusted kids, if I do say so myself. As always, though, I take no credit...mainly because I don't want to take the blame if they screw up! I only say this to show that talking openly about GTness doesn't seem to have automatically turned them into conceited jerks!