Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Is the wrong of me to do?

Well of course we want to protect our kids from the horrible parts of life. However my DS therapist (he was 5) told me I had to explain things to him like an adult and to get out the dictionary and get out the encyclopedia to explain stuff to him. She said it will cause him more anxiety to ignore it or gloss over it. If your child is smart they will figure it out anyway or they will hear it from others. She said we should use the scientific method w/our DS. I admit do I really do that, eh not as much as I should.

Wow! What a hard time for you any your family! I'm glad your DH is much improved and I sympathize with the fear of the unknown there. How terrifying.

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

I'm so impressed with the way you handled an impossible situation. Thank you for sharing your story. I think you're right that it is a great example of honesty at a difficult time and at a difficult age. I suspect you built a level of trust with your DS because of the way you handled the situation.

Best wishes for current and future good health for your DH!

My husband and I had a conversation just this morning about when to explain race, racism and slavery to our DS4. DS is completely naive about these issues and doesn't think anything of the fact that his friends and teachers are of many different races. I'd like to make that innocence and colorblindness last as long as possible, but my husband made St. Pauli's point:


DS is also such an advanced reader that I've noticed racism and slavery coming up in more and more of the books he's reading. So far, I've sidestepped the issues, but I suppose I'll have to lay things out soon...

Thanks Kriston. Yup, it was bad. Good to be reminded of what things are really important in life, though. We have a better set of attitudes and a better work/life balance now as a result of that, and I'm sure we all benefit.

Poor plants. You all are just phylum-challenged!

The violence on TV is overwhelming. Just about every program has it as its central theme, yet right during the break there is a commercial for PETA!!! Someone can order a vegan meal then go watch TV? We will act in some ways and yet support those who provide images otherwise.

We live in a very strange culture and we think nothing of it. Its almost like human beings need ethical dissonance to thrive.

That's not an easy thing to have to do.

My brother R passed away year before last - it was very sudden. His three kids and his DW were devastated, as all of us were. You never get over stuff like this.

ColinsMum, I'm sorry your family went through such a tough time. So very happy to hear your DH made it through, though.

Tragically, my brother died after 3 years of cancer treatment that sometimes worked and ultimately didn't. His two sons were 4.75 and 3.0. The family discussed daddy's boo-boos all the time, and of course his death. Thankfully it was not sudden (like your brother's, Austin). As my DH put it, the boys were so young they didn't realize they were supposed to get a dad for the rest of their lives.

The day after my brother died, thinking I was helping, I said to his DS 4.75, "If you want to write a letter to your dad someday, he can read it in heaven." He responded, "They don't have mail in heaven." That really made me laugh, and of course I felt foolish. He went on to say his daddy didn't live in the house anymore, but was going to live in his heart and even ride in the car sometimes. That made us all laugh.

My DH, who studied children and grieving in grad school, remembered that when a parent dies at home and is taken away without children knowing about it, it can be traumatic. So my brother's wife woke up the boys to let them see my brother's body and say goodbye. The little one did not wake up. The older one came in, saw the body and said, "Oh. That's it?" and went back to bed. It was a big relief to us that the boys didn't freak out.

Because I've had plenty of cancer myself and I've seen my brother die and leave behind two small boys, we do take the opportunity to at least mention death as it happens.

We took DD 26 mos. to a funeral just yesterday, for an unexpected death. Normally DD cries when she sees other people crying. We told her ahead of time that people would be crying at the funeral, and she handled things fine.