Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Feeling stressed about son starting K

I'm starting to feel stressed about my son starting Kindergarten in two weeks. He is scheduled for his Kindergarten assessment on Monday. I am hoping the teacher who assesses him will see that he needs differentiated instruction. I'm not sure that will happen though, because I have heard that the assessment involves things like asking the child to spell his name and what his address is. Will the teacher even realize that he can read and do arithmetic already? I am just waiting to see what she says before I bring it up...

I don't want to be "in your face" about him being gifted. I haven't shared his test scores with them and I'm not sure I will because I have a feeling they won't believe them anyway. Their "policy" is not to accept any outside testing.

I am considering whether it would be beneficial for my son to skip first grade next year. My plan is to teach him first grade stuff this year to get him ready. But there is the handwriting issue...

Also, the kids are tested with CogAT for the GATE program at the end of 3rd grade. If he skips first grade, will that put him at a disadvantage for that test?

Thanks for letting me vent my ansgt

Cathy

I feel hesitant recommending anything since everyone's situation is different. We went into the assessment without saying anything and the teacher did discover very quickly what DS was cabable of and she told us at the end of the assessment what she had planned, which was quite advanced work. I think it is nice for teachers to feel that they have discovered a prodigy and this approach set a good tone of collaboration. This teacher has been a great guide and mentor to him over the last 6 years.

But DS has never been one to hide his light under a bushel, so it never occured to me that he could not be discovered. Either a more reserved child or a less astute teacher might create misunderstanding. So I don't wholeheartedly recommend our approach to everyone.

I will say again that volunteering in DS's class for all these years (one morning a week) has been a fabulous opporunity to create warm relationships with the school. If this is at all possible, I would highly recommend it.

Hi Cathy -
I loved BK's response to a similar question so much that I'm going to repost it here. She explains how to dance around the G-word, without irritating people, because she is giving specific information about the specific needs of one child. I think that you have to be prepared to share some of your observations in a non-confrontational way IF the teacher doesn't "pick up" on what you have seen.

Here's BK:

BTW - My Mom tells the story of trying to cue in the teachers at Kindergarden Assesment regarding my early reading brother. To make a long story short, the Teacher made it very clear that her concern was to help the children who had the lowest skills, and that in her view my brother didn't have any need to "learn" because he already knew the year's curriculum. I think it's better, in a case like that, to know where you stand right off the bat.

Best Wishes,
Trinity

Cathy,
Perhaps you could have your son bring a book that he enjoys which demonstrates his highest reading ability.

When my son went for his assessment for early entrance to 1st grade, he brought a globe. It served as an ice breaker. The assistant principle asked him to find different states and countries. She told him that she had lived in Turkey and was quite surprised when he immediately pointed it out. He then proceeded to identify all of the nearby �stans�.

I have no doubt that we were fortunate. We were especially fortunate because the assessment was in the library--he couldn't keep his eyes (or hands) off the books.LOL I can't remember for sure, but I suspect he took a book off the shelf and started reading it--not because he was showing off but because he loved to read.

I'm trying to remember why I chose to not share with the teacher before the assessment. I think I was playing a little game, myself: "This assessment goes both ways; lets see how astute you are, Ms. Teacher." Since my son is so outgoing, I would have had grave doubts about a teacher who had missed his abilities and probably would have started scoutin alternative education plans had she not noticed something was different with DS. But fortunately she passed our test with flying colors!

I like the idea of bringing a book--do you think the teacher will just assume he's memorized it? Oh, well, I can't anticipate everything (much as I would like to...) I just want so much for him to get a teacher that appreciates his abilities--unlike last year.

I wish I had found this board sooner

Cathy - you're lucky to have that kind of awareness already with regards to your son. With mine, I've always known he was "different", ever since he pointed out that an apple piece I had cut up for him when he was 18 months looked like a trapezoid, when he taught himself how to read when he was 2, when he taught himself how to play chess by 4...but didn't see really that it was such a "big deal" at that time other than being proud mama moments -- then came time for Kindergarten, and that's when I realized, hold on - I think my son needs more.

He was constantly in trouble in Kindergarten class - I honestly thought "yellows" were the norm until I got to converse with other parents and their kids actually got mostly "greens" in class. He talked a lot, was bored during circle times, didn't finish his work because he'd much rather just wander around the classroom looking for other things to do. It was his K teacher that first used the word gifted; she had done assessments with him and found he was already reading at high school level and was able to do arithmetic above his level. She got things rolling by recommending him to the GATE teacher, who then in turn recommended him to the County's HG program, and that's how we are all now at a better place with regards to understanding my son's needs.

That idea with him bringing a book is a good one; I used to do that for my son, and instructed him if he finishes all his work ahead of everyone else, he can just take out the book and start reading on his own. But honestly, I really don't think he learned much in Kinder that he didn't already know to begin with, and first grade for him was pretty much like that too. He definitely enjoyed the social interaction, and new concepts to him such as Circle Time and Centers and school hot lunches and recess times, but academically, I doubt he learned much NEW info.

But KaT,
What makes your story so unusual are these points:
a) Although he was "in trouble" all the time, the teacher didn't seem to blame him, or think that "there was something wrong with him." She didn't attempt to gang up with other school officials to convinse you and yDH that there was something wrong with him.
b) Although your son was "in trouble" all the time, he didn't internalize that there was "something wrong with him."
c) He enjoyed the social interaction, not all PGlets will, that depends on personality. He didn't come to feel like there was something wrong with him (or them) becuase they were unable to do the activities he enjoyed in play. Some PGlets take it very hard that no one understands the rule of their imaginary games, or are able to play games, such as Yu-gi-oh, that involve reading.
d) His sensory OverExcitabilities didn't make Circle Time a torture for him.
e) He didn't resent the time he spend "not learning anything new." My guess is that he was in a half day program, and had time to himself for learning or your attention the rest of the day. Yes? If so, good for you! My son went from daycare to half day program to daycare, 2 or 3 days a week, and really resented the time lost from pursuing intellectual stimulation. Like you, I had blocked from my awareness just how different he was from other kids, and what his actual needs were. I told myself that his friends were of course shy in front of me, but probably had these same soul-searching conversations during quiet times with their Moms at home.
f)Your son was relaxed that he could read while the other kids were learning. Your son was able to tolerated the "full class participation required" time spent on pre-reading activities, at least to some degree. Your teacher was comfortable with your son's reading ability and didn't discourage or shame him. I've heard many stories about kids suddenly "forgetting how to read" in these settings.
g) Your teacher checked to see what his abilities were, got that it made a difference, and took action! This is pretty rare.
h) Your district has a program to refer him to - unfortunatly also rare.

I think you would agree that if the teacher has been harsh about your son's lack of conformity, if the school hadn't offered acceleration or a gifted program to accomidate his needs, and there was nothing to look forward to be "he needs to learn to control his behavior and get along with all his age-mates" then your Kindy experience might have looked like the begining of a long spell of pain, yes?

KaT - I'm so glad that things didn't go that way for you. If gives me hope that once teachers are educated to the needs and expressions of gifted kids, that things will improve broadly.

Love and More Love,
Trinity

Cathy,
The book (or other icebreaker) idea is a fifty/fifty shot. If the teacher is like the public school teacher who assessed my daughter, then yes, she will probably imply that your son has memorized it. If she is has an open mind, like the assistant principle who assessed my son, she will congratulate him on how well he reads, then find a book of equivalent difficulty and ask in a friendly way if he could read some of it to her as well.

Like acs mentioned, you will learn a lot about the teacher by how she handles the assessment. By bringing a book, or other object of interest which demonstrates ability, you give that tester every opportunity to find your child�s range.
Diana