Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Help, grade skipping/homeschooling???

I am hoping you can give me some insight, advice, ideas, etc. A little background. My daughter was always very bright as I like to put it. We started her in Kindergarten a year early at 4yrs. old because we could already see problems coming. Fast forward after four very rough years. The end of last school year we finally had an outside evaluation done. The results were Gifted Aspergers, ADHD tendancies, written expression problems of more than 30 point deviation, and all the common problems related to the Aspergers. We approached the school and were told that they would eventually do an eval but things would go on much the same for now. My daughter begged all summer to be homeschooled so we pulled her and her sisters the beginning of the school year. If in public school as things stood she would be 8yr. and in 4th, the school considers this a grade skip for most applications.

Fast forward, the evaluation is done, although I haven't seen the reports yet and the school is now pushing to put her back in class. I can understand this because of the social aspects of Aspergers. We have never debated that but we aren't going to dismiss her academic needs either. Research shows Aspergers children do better when challenged just like all gifted children. The teacher consultant has twice brought up the option of grade skipping to fifth for the second half of this year. I haven't heard yet what the speech therapist results were either but she has expressed concern that DD be around other kids; we are hoping for services, no matter what the school situation. What might we be looking at with a 9yr old going to the middle school for 6th grade? What have your experiences been? The principal has supposedly said that the group of girls in a particular fifth grade class might be more accepting of my daughter than the group she was in with in 3rd. They are talking 5th because her lowest area, written expression tests at the end of fourth grade by their new tests. I haven't seen those results yet either but know that her testing last year showed her written expression to be 3rd-4th grade and everything else was at least 5.8th to 8th grade. Her SB-IV was in the 140's except for some short term memory and visual-abstact copying.

What questions should I be asking at this meeting? I guess they have decided that she doesn't qualify for special ed. I don't know about speech but the consultant is talking about a 504? I would think they need to wait for the speech results first but hey, that's just my thinking. Any comments, suggestion, recommendations, etc. would be greatly appreciated. I question if this is a long term solution.

I have a child with AS. He was in traditional schools up until grade 7, when he was finally diagnosed. Being in daycare, preschool, and institutional school as well as forced activities (soccer, scouting) did little to make him more social. When we pulled him out to homeschool, suddenly he had the energy to form real relationships with a small handful of kids. It seems counter intuitive, but taking him away from the large groups was the best thing ever for his social development.

I think it may be difficult for a child with AS to fit in well with kids who are now going to be significantly older. If it's just about academics, that's one thing, but expecting her to make friends with kids who are going to be much more socially savvy is a bit unrealistic. If kids with AS are a few years behind socially, then putting them with kids who are older will only exacerbate the differences. I don't mean to reject your proposal outright, but it may be best to consider other sources for friendship, such as structured small group activities.

best wishes-

Maybe you are someone I've really been looking for. I really feel in my heart that putting her back in school isn't going to solve all that much. I am getting a lot of pressure from the school because they see this as the solution. She doesn't have any friends now and didn't really do well with the other kids all these years, in two different schools. the problem is that I am really struggling at home with her homeschooling. Every day is a struggle, she doesn't want to do her work, whatever format it is and I have to fight about it most of the time. She will dilly for hours to get her work done. My husband has a real problem with this and sees her as not getting anything done. I know she is getting things done but she just has no time organization and I have to oversee every minute. She is the oldest of five with only my four year old being gone for mornings Monday thru Friday. I looked to the school for speech therapy to help with pragmatics and social skills, as well as suggestions for kids with similar problems. I have grave concerns about sending a nine year old girl to the middle school next year. Thanks for letting me vent. Is there a teaching style or curriculum that has really worked for you?

Wow. You really have a full plate! I can see why it has been difficult for you to homeschool your oldest with four other kids to think about. I'm not sure how much help I can offer, as my son was older (13) when he began homeschooling. He was pretty much self sufficient with educational stuff at that point- I just had to sign him up for courses and buy him materials. He did EPGY for a few courses, and started classes at the community college at 16. I htink the outside structure of the online classes and college was very helpful to him. He didn't do as well with the self stuff I tried to have him do at home. He'd read endlessly, but didn't much like the workbooks or textbooks. His old school didn't offer any special support beyond OT and PT for his motor issues, which they stopped when he was 11 as he made it into the low normal range.

My son also had trouble with time management and executive function skills, but he managed to get his work done as his screen time (computer, gameboy, etc.) was limited to when all schoolwork and chores were completed. He has done very well academically with college, and seems to get things done even though I am not there to supervise. Perhaps it's a matter of improvement with age and practice.

There's a yahoo group for parents of kids who are gifted with NVLD and AS. You might find it very helpful, as I did a few years ago.

Good luck. I know it can be a tough row to hoe, but at least you have options and know what you're dealing with- that's half the battle.

Hi - My children are much younger than your eldest, but I have some suggestions you may find useful. I also agree that homeschooling is a great way to foster meaningful relationships and interact with a variety of ages and personalities in a more approachable, less threatening way.

First, be sure to take time to deschool. The general rule of thumb, if I recall corrrectly, is one month of deschooling for every year a child was in school. This doesn't mean that your daughter won't learn anything or accomplish anything academic, but instead she will, hopefully, have a chance to get out of the mindset of school/learning = drudgery. In other words, don't fall into the "school at home" trap. Find a local homeschool group and make library dates, park dates (if the weather is nice), meet at museums, etc. Does she like to dance, are there any dance classes offered by your local rec. centers? In my area, the rec. centers offer a full semester of dance classed for $35.

If you do feel the need to do academics, consider basing it on her interests. What books does she gravitate toward at the library? Use them as platforms for "casual" discussion. Play games she enjoys, even if they are below her skillset - the point is learning is happening in a non-intrusive way. Have her help plan her curriculum and schedule; give her some control over what she learns and when.

The Charlotte Mason approach is also nice, especially, if your daughter likes to read. Lessons in CM are kept short, 15 - 30 mins. with time increasing as the child gets older or the material more difficult. Spending lots of time outdoors, is also a large part of CM. Checkout Ambleside Online or Simply Charlotte Mason dot com for more ideas.

I also encourage you to find out what your daughter's learning style is and your teaching style (if haven't already). This should help you decide what approach might be a happy medium for you and your daughter if your styles are different. For example, since you are busy with four other children, you may not want to use curricula that requires you to set up lots of materials, etc. Or if your daughter doesn't enjoy reading then you may want to limit that part of the CM approach choosing instead to read to her or use shorter books, perhaps with large print, for example.

We are ecclectic schoolers in my family, primarily child led and I tend to ignore age and grade leveling, choosing instead to focus on ability and provide materials at the level my kids seem to be at and slightly above that to provide some challenge. We also use the Thomas Jefferson Education Philosophy (tjed dot org) and do a modified version of "reading, writing, and discussing" taking into account that my daughter is still young and lots of writng tires her out.

I hope this helps (and makes sense).

Mizzou