Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Society Pressures Raise their ugly head.

I took my DD to dance class this morning and the topic of conversation went to possibly holding a child back from starting kindergarten since he doesn't read. (A little background: a live in a highly acclaimed school district where it is very competitive.) I sat there in horror as I listened to another mother bragging about her son and his accomplishments (signs that he is gifted) and then throw it all away with the comment that by 3rd grade they all catch up. (sound familiar?) I was horrified for 2 reasons. 1. she was clearly bragging and practically proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that the other mother should be concerned and hold her child back ... which I will get to in a minute. 2. the fact that people seem to so easily dismiss their children's accomplishments and figure that all children will catch up, which of course makes me wonder in this particular school district if gifted children are more of the norm and normal children are the minority. As the other mothers talked I was checking off so many of the ridiculous comments that was posted by another person on this board. Have parents so willingly accepted these comments as truth? Or am I in such a unique school district that they are absolutely right?

As for the other mother's child, from what she stated her son was a normal kid for his accomplishments and it is sad that she feels pressured to hold him back because he isn't reading or doing simple math by the time he enters Kin.

What's with the idea that all kids catch up by 3rd grade anyway? My neighbor told me this and said in K, they are all over the place in reading levels.

Oh LadybugMom, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that. I think IMHO, that you are getting this comment b/c it is a defense mechanism for them. How else can they explain how your child is so advanced? I did push the mother who made that comment about third grade, with do you really believe that all children are equal throughout school? Here was her reply: Not at all, but research has proven that by 3rd grade the wide range seen within Kind. evens out. So I guess they are right in that regard, basically you will see more of a bell curve. But a bell curve only exists with the highs and lows.

LOL!

I think (silently, to myself) that OF COURSE they all even out by third grade...if you push the ones who are behind and teach the ones ahead NOTHING for 3 or 4 years! Argh!

But I usually keep that thought to myself for obvious reasons.

ROTFLOL!!

What I found with DS when he was eight, was that he "evened out" with himself. Not that he suddenly turned normal (ha!) but that he was no longer "all over the place" with levels. He was settling into a narrower band of abilities. The biggest thing was that his spelling caught up (still not stellar, but not so glaringly obvious!) So I can kind of see something going on at 3rd grade that might pass for "evening out" but it isn't what people seem to think it is... not that everyone suddenly turns eight and snaps into lockstep, but that some of the things that were going slowly before kind of fall into place.

Or it could just be him.

A friend of mind who is a teacher() told me this when I was concerned about DS in Kindergarten. I changed the topic very quickly.

Yes, it gets under my skin when I hear a teacher say this. And they often imply "I know more than you because I am a teacher". One of these teacher friends told me that Kindergarten is just about getting to know where everything in the school is and how it operates. What a waste!

I've wondered if the "catching up" thing is about getting the kids to a point where they can all read.

You don't have to keep quiet here. Completely agree with everything you said and is why I roll my eyes at parents reciting the ridiculous comments. I think I had to remember to pick my jaw off the floor as I listened to the argument.

Sure, if catch up is a blanket statement that all kids are reading and not looking at the levels each child is at than maybe. I think Kriston has it right and further more, I think the school system relys on slowing the gifted down so there isn't such a big gap. I personally would love to read the data this mother was arguing. Is there research validating this or are we in the mist of another urban myth?