Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Performance et al

This was brought up in my instrument lessons, but I wanted to start a more general thread.

I brought up the movie Vitus and the parents wanting him to play piano for their friends.

We have a bunch of kids that are easy to show off. I used to compete in figure skating, totally my choice. When I stopped, I really didn't skate anymore. I took up skiing where I had no idea if I was good, but didn't care because I was having fun, instead of worrying about how I did something. Because when you perform, the perfectionist thing comes out.

I also ran track when I was young, not so seriously, just during the season. I have been a runner since I was about 14 and since 19 run a 5 miles. Though it has become a real jog now. People always ask if I am going to do a marathon. I never compete. This is for me.

I want DD to work hard and strive to do things well but I am very leery of performance or competition unless she chooses. Because I believe that if she has the passion to pursue she will choose on her own. As a former gifted child, I hated the expectations that the natural pride in my accomplishments brought out. I sort of wish that my acceleration and grades were a non event.

Anyway, I thought about this as I was writing my other post. I would like to hear opinions as they raise their gifted children and straddle the fence of pride, expectations and performance.

Ren

Historically, before TV, recordings etc., people entertained each other. My depression era friends and relatives all have a new joke to tell, a funny story, or have memorized poem or piece to recite. They play music and sing. They have a new game to introduce. These folks are not the most talented people in the world, but they recognize that it is an important part of society to share what they do can. They make mistakes; they don't play great, but they have a smile, humble dispositions, and love to laugh. These people are not showing off; they are sharing their small talents with friends and family who want to be entertained. I think most children growing up with these examples would want to join in and share because that is part of family and community life.

Now we have professional entertainment and the flip of a switch. I think that has changed a lot because we do not have to entertain ourselves and we have very high quality performers to compare outselves to. So if a family turns off the London Symphony CD to hear their 5 year old, the comparison is sort of in her face that she isn't that good. This is fundamentally different than having Uncle Harry say, "Honey, can you pick up your fiddle and play harmony on this one?"

I think the key is that is isn't just the kids "performing." Families need to turn off the media and enjoy each other. Adults need to share their talents and let the kids join in. KWIM?

I like that, acs. Good points. And I agree that sharing is very different from performing.

DD6's violin teacher has a group of children that are very, very good and perform together from time to time.

It seems to be a requirement to join the performing group if your child takes lessons.

DD6 was very adverse to the idea, and I told the teacher that we thought it was a very bad idea due to her personality. The teacher has been very understanding and so she doesn't ever perform.

I'm not a big fan, but it depends on the child. Some children seem to absolutely thrive when given the opportunity to perform, public or other.

I thought I posted earlier. But it didn't take. I like the your post acs about the "performing" being more about family time. We started doing that with dancing when she was an infant, always doing dancing after dinner.

Piano could be part of it, but the practice hast to come first, which then dilutes just the performing part.

Ren