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Saw this and thought it was pretty funny:


NEW "BAILOUT" & STOCK MARKET BUSINESS
TERMS....

CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an
investor to
mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids
get no
allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband
gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling
lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their
pants as the
market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split
your assets
equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been
disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it
disappears down the
toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor
sucker for $240
per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the
sucker who bought
Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Previous investor who's
now locked up in a
nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

Funny!

My retired neighbor lost half her retirement income in the last 3 weeks. I think she will become an Institutional Investor.

Ugh. I hate to hear that.

I'm so sorry Austin. It is awful. Just tryin to laugh so's I don't cry....

At least she doesn't live in Iceland to boot...

Yeah it's really bad.........I think the sky might REALLY be falling.

I came home from high school the day my Grandmother learned she had lost half her money when RB&T had failed. She told me that they might have to sell the house. ( I lived with her at the time.) It was a modest house and it was owned. I can recall the despair in her voice. (She sold her two cars and used a cab for the next year. )

The next day she was fired up and wanted to kill the bank president. My uncle took all her guns except for her pistol he was so scared she would do it. When they arrested the bank president, he relaxed a bit. He told the bailiff at the trial that he should search her purse. She later had too much scotch and told me she had that pistol in her pants the whole time during the trial.

LOL

During that whole period when she saw things going from bad to worse - her other half of her money was in oil leases - and oil just cratered - she would tell me stories of growing up dirt poor when she was so hungry she would eat raw turnips from the field. This would put perpspective on things.

And then she would tell me stories of how she bootlegged liquor and beer during Prohibition until I'd laugh so hard we'd both be gasping for air.

She dusted herself off, refused to quit, faced the facts, prioritized, and made decisions.

Now that's what I call a GRANDMOTHER!

What a lovely story, thanks for sharing; oh dear, creates quite an image..LOL!!

.

I want to be like HER when I grow up.