Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion why are people so quick to write off children?

I encounter this problem everyday with my 4YO gifted, sensory seeker. He is so excited about whatever topic of the week he is interested in. He always wants to share his knowledge with someone and adults will dismiss his interest and not really listen and respond with a confusing to him response. For example, one week, he was into the life cycle of Sea horses and carried a chart around with him. He showed it to someone and they said, "oh, you have been to the aquarium?" "Did you have fun?" He tries a couple of more times and then either shuts down and gets quiet or goes the silly route.

What do you say to people? Do you have something to say to explain sure he looks like a 4YO but his MA is 7-8YO? As far as support professionals go, I will keep searching until I have the right fit. Gifted kids are too sensitive and too observant to read the faces and know when people are not really interested.

People are probably not being as dismissive as you think. Your son probably looks like a 4 yo and moves like a 4 yo and therefore he gets treated like a 4 year old. It is impossible for people to know that your child is gifted. The questions you say they ask are appropriate. I could see myself asking those questions to a 4 year old.

I do understand you irritation though. My babybear is small for her age and Gifted. So, though she is 7, she is the size of a 4 year old with a very large vocabulary and advanced thought processes. It is very frutrating.

What I have done for babybear is explain to her that not everyone understands that she is much "bigger than her height". It isn't always easy. As Mom, I just try to make sure she knows I understand her and I encourage her in all the wonderful things she can do.

Best of luck!

I'm not that forgiving! I think too many people talk to children as if they're idiots, whether gifted or not. I tend to talk to kids at a high level, and only then if I see they don't understand me (vacant stare), I'll lower my level. I'm sure this is partly due to my experience of knowing that my infant understood me much of the time, but I never used baby talk before kid either. (Of course, i'm sure i'm part of the problem of creating too much of a child-centered community.)

Edited to say: mamabear, i'm not implying that you talk to children like they're idiots! I know you don't.

I'm child centered too. I always talked "normally" when my babies were babies.

Me, too. I did the same thing with my college students, too, FWIW. (Teaching taught me more about parenting than any book about parenting that I ever read. If you think about it, college students really have a whole lot in common with toddlers!)

Anyway, I have found that in general, people--adults and children alike--tend to rise (or sink!) to the level you expect of them. You can always drop back your language or define a word if someone's not getting it. But if you treat people like they have brains, they usually don't disappoint.

Within reason, of course...

It goes both ways.

A lot of people still act like babies. Complaining all the time to the authority figure in whatever organization they are in.

My wife runs a firm. The whining just drains her some days as people transfer their negative energy to her.

I saw the same thing in Grad school and was apalled. One hard test or a hard probing dialogue and all that was missing was the diapers.