Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Hi, I'm new!

Greetings, all.

I'm so glad to have found this forum! My name is Elizabeth - my husband and I have a 6 year-old who is bored out of his mind at school. He was bored in kindergarten as well, but at that point I had not yet educated myself at all on the subject of gifted students, trusting the teachers and the school would see his glaring ....giftedness... and have his best interest at heart at all times. My bad. I was told last year that the schools don't test or "do anything" for gifteds until 3rd grade. Like a fool I believed her. Over this summer I looked into it more and learned that either she was misinformed or just plain lazy.

Sadly, I've encountered a very similar attitude now with his first grade teacher, but luckily I know more than I did last time. After waiting pointlessly for a few weeks into the school year for the teacher to do as she promised and get him started with advanced lessons, I went ahead and went to the VP and explained my son's situation. Now he is in the process of being tested for the GT "program" - so I'm still on the outside looking in. He is given the top of the grade spelling words by his current teacher, but that seems to be her only effort to challenge him, and it doesn't even come close. We're just waiting for the testing to be completed... then I'll find out what they plan to do.

I can already tell that I am going to have a constant struggle on my hands, however the VP seems very enthusiastic and positive. I feel better too, having found this forum and all you experienced folk who will no doubt help me along.

Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and applaud this forum for giving us a place to discuss what we're not often encouraged to discuss, in my neighborhood, anyway

Thanks!

Glad to have you here!

Welcome to the club!

If you don't mind me asking, which state are you in? Sometimes that helps give specific answers.

JB

Thanks ienjoysoup & JBDad. We are in central Virginia.

Unfortunately I can't help you with your local issues. We're in PA and I've heard many stories about not being testing until 3rd grade. In PA we have a state mandate that says that you can request testing as early as K. But I'm not familiar with VA's standards (although I *am* a Hokie and damn proud of it!).

But there are probably others on the group that can offer advice...

And again, welcome.

JB

Thanks JBDad, the VA BOE website states that testing and advanced classes are available for students K-12 statewide. I just wish I'd read that summer of 2007.

It's in process now, I was told on Tuesday that they are 2/3rds finished with testing my son. I wish I'd known they'd started but, even on his worst day they'll still see that he needs more than A-B-C's.

Thank you again for the kind welcome - keep your fingers crossed for us.

Elizabeth

Welcome Elizabeth! So glad you found us!

Great Job Elizabeth - you've come a long way in a year! Really! It's a slow process.

Now for the next steps.
A) Call school and ask for a list of test that they are giving, that way you can post here and find out what the tests are.
B) Start asking around the local parents to find out what the school has provided for other identified gifted kids. If you school has a Gifted Coordinator, you can ask him or her.
C) Start dreaming about what you think your child needs. That means trying to get some idea of her LOG (level of giftedness) Then check and see if the criteria you are using to develop your idea of LOG is a reasonable one. We usually tend to be in 'Gifted Denial' as a rule, as many of us have Gifties in the family and as friends and think they are average, since they are 'average' in our lives.

LOG is a frontier development. Schools don't 'get' it yet. But you need to know if your child is likely to be well served by a 2 hours a week pull out program, needs subject acceleration, or need grade skip(s)

D) figure out 'who your kid is' and what you can do with her at home, so you have something to focus on that doesn't put you in the dependent position.

E) figure out a back up plan. Schools have been know to drag their heels and then offer almost nothing.

F) spend a few hours in your daughters classroom, in the next grade up, and the next grade up. See what the emotional expectations are, what the intellectual expectations, what the motor development expectations are, etc. Take notes. Imagine how your child would feel with the various peers and the various teachers.

BTW - you don't mention if your daughter is friendly with her peers. This is key to think about, as no 'solution' is likely to be perfect, or without cost - so it helps if you can look at potential downsides, such as losing great friends, or a great teacher in advance.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Thanks for all the tips, Grinity! I'll address the friendliness factor first - actually this is my son (and only child). He turned 6 in August and he is very outgoing, outspoken - he floweth over with self-confidence which I think many people find annoying. He makes friends easily but struggles to keep most of them because he's ... well, he wants to be the one in charge, the leader, the decision-maker. He's learning to share the privilege, but he takes charge when everyone else hesitates - this can make him unpopular. He seems to have turned a corner though, and things are improving.

I just got a call from the VP - and she has informed me that they are able to transfer him to a different teacher (my request as his current teacher is not up to the challenge of keeping him busy and at the same time acknowledging his inability to be completely subordinate/submissive - this has always been a problem lol).

Emotionally he is a first grader, or even on the short end of it, however we had a talk with him this week about possibly skipping a grade or at least being switched to a different teacher. He was terribly excited about both prospects, but we explained to him that they won't skip someone who misbehaves in class the way he has been. He thought that one through and seems to understand that he needs to pull it together and just do the work despite finding it dreadfully boring and disliking the teacher. He's not getting transferred to the teacher he was hoping for, but the VP tells me that the one they've selected works in partnership with the teacher he loves so.. theoretically they have the same game plan and hopefully it will work out - he won't get another transfer.

We live in a small community in the middle of nowhere - the kids are bussed to school for many miles around and we have not yet found another parent around here with whom we can relate on the GT child subject so I'm kind of going it alone here. But now I have y'all!

In reference to your letter D) above - what do you mean about what to do with him at home and putting myself in a dependent position?

Again, thank you for the advice - I'll start with calling to find out about a Gifted Coordinator (you'd think they'd have already given me this information but... it's looking like all parents of gifteds have to fight all the way? Yuck.) I seem to recall having accidently met someone with that title last year...

Have a great day and thank you again!

Elizabeth

Hi Elizabeth,
I get his personality - I've got an 'Articubaby' at home myself. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that his emotional level is 1st grade. I'd rather suggest that he is emotionally a lot of different ages, and you just have to wait and see which one your are going to get at any given time. Gifties cry in public at older ages than NDs, but that doesn't mean that they are 'less mature.' I think that lots of them just feel and care more deeply so have more to manage internally than age-mates.

As for 'point D' - I don't want you in a 'dependent position' of relying on the school to provide your son with the experience of working at his 'readiness level.' I don't want you relying on the school for teaching him the thrill of academic success after struggle. I know he is probably worn out from school when he comes home at the end of the day - but I would still encourage you to Demand that if he doesn't have 15 minutes worth of homework from school, that you will help him make up the difference with hard and interesting academic work. My point is - no matter what the school does or doesn't provide, you will probably have a happier child in the long run, if he gets used to challenging academic work at home on a daily basis.

Big Hugs,
Grinity

Thank you for reminding me of this!