Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Help with knowing what to do next [UPDATED]

Good morning!  I'm feeling frustrated and conflicted about supporting my child this morning, and some googling brought me to this group so...here I am!

Editing for length since my first post didn't get any replies. TLDR - my 4th grade daughter scored in the 99%+ on the WISC-V administered by her school, but substantially lower on the InView screener for the G&T program in our district. On state standardized testing from the end of 3rd grade, she got the highest possible score for ELA. and pretty high for math, and scored at the top of her class in reading assessments at the beginning of this year. For reasons still somewhat unclear to me, she has not been admitted to the G&T program (a 2x a week pullout program) because the school feels like her needs are being met in the classroom. I'm not sure what else to ask for in terms of school support.

Despite clearly having the ability, she is starting to present as frustrated and disconnected about school. She has started to be really resistant to doing schoolwork in class in a timely manner, and earlier this year was outright refusing to do math practice. Bizarrely, we found out that she has not been reading the assigned book for her class book club - despite the fact that she reads for 2-3 hours a day for pleasure at home.  We've tried to raise the issue with her at home about her resistance/motivation levels, but she gets frustrated and can't really explain to us what's going on.  I really don't want to push her too hard, but I do want her to be happy and fulfilled at school.  I don't want the situation at school to get to the point where she checks out or loses confidence.

Outside of school, we can't seem to give her enough enrichment. She has started piano lessons which she loves, and the teacher (unprompted) told me that she appears to be gifted with music, and she also takes viola lessons at school.  We also recently started Mathnasium for math enrichment to help her gain some confidence and enthusiasm about math, which she also loves.  We make weekly trips to the library for new books, and she gets 2-3 weekly kids magazines, which she devours as soon as she gets them.  I'm hesitant to pile on more extracurriculars, and am just frustrated with how to better support her in the classroom, where she spends most of the day.

In conclusion - is there anything obvious I should be pushing for at the school level? I'm at a bit of a loss how to help a kid who seems to be disconnecting in class and appears disorganized.

Or, should we just continue to focus on enrichment outside of school and figure the school aspect will work itself out?  I'm not trying to be a tiger mom or push my wonderful kiddo too hard, but I just don't want to look back and wish I'd done more to support her.

Hey!

I have a couple of kids in US public school and are ID’d gifted. So, I’m speaking from that perspective:

* my experience with state standardized tests is that the school sees them as a necessary hurdle to cross but they don’t read into them any further or use them to inform instruction. I think only if a kid couldn’t pass these would the school make any changes to support the child.

* in class assessments also sort of work the same. The teachers are working at getting the group to learn certain skills in a grade. If your kid is an outlier on the strong end, the teachers are just glad they have those skills.

* WISC-V our school doesn’t use this test. But I would expect this to have major weight in determining gifted identification. I would expect that score to be a IQ, not a percentile.

* the screener for G&T… I suspect this has survey questions for teachers about your kid. Sadly not all teachers will get your kid or have a good frame work for how gifted kids present in the classroom. My experience with teacher surveys is that they depend completely on how the teacher perceives your kid.

One of my kids didn’t turn up to be gifted with regular screening procedures… but, I know him & what he knows, so I did pursue further. Here’s what I’d do based on my experiences:

* look on the school’s website and see if you can find a gifted handbook. Read that thoroughly, it should explain how they identify in detail & what services are available. Decide if you think your kid meets or is close to meeting the criteria.

* figure out who is the leader in gifted services. In our school district they are called a “gifted coordinator”. This person is in charge of identification.

* reach out to the gifted coordinator with your concerns. Use the gifted handbook to make your case. For example, our gifted handbook had a list of gifted traits, my kid has many of them.

Our gifted coordinator is very black and white with what qualifies. But she also knows a lot about actual gifted kids, and how they present in classrooms. Initially what she did for my son was offered a retest with a different type of test. Because he was the only kid being tested this way, it was in a quiet room by himself. He met the criteria & was ID’d gifted. Since then he has picked up 3 other types of gifted IDs that our school tests/acknowledges.

The gifted coordinator has helped represent my son and ensure he has access to gifted and advanced instruction since then. My kid is intelligent and has a couple disabilities, she has gone in the classroom to observe him when school was not going well, and she sits in on every 504 meeting confirming over and over again that he will not be denied access to gifted services.

Think about this person as a potential advocate for your child… be honest and respectful in how you communicate them from the very beginning. Think of it as building a bridge.

Also, regarding enrichment: it sounds like you’re on a good path to letting her follow interests and be challenged outside of school. My experience as a parent is that it’s a constant juggle - activities, family life, eating healthy dinners, cost of activities, travel to activities, having free time, having time to move our bodies. There’s no right answer… personally, I just adjust over and over again and know there are busy and slow seasons. My oldest is 11… so he’s shifting to having more ownership of his interests/activities/time/friendships and I’m happy to hand over those responsibilities and be more of an advisor as needed.