Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through Autism's Unique Perspectives – Revised 2017, is a book co-authored by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron.
Part 3 of the book includes a chapter on each of ten rules:
1 - The rules are not absolute; they are situation-based and people-based.
2 - Not everything that happens is equally important in the grand scheme of things
3 - Everyone in the world makes mistakes; it doesn't have to ruin your day
4 - Honesty is different than diplomacy
5 - Being polite is appropriate in every situation
6 - Not everyone who is nice to me is my friend
7 - People act differently in public than they do in private
8 - Know when you're turning people off
9 - Fitting in is often tied to looking and sounding like you fit in
10- People are responsible for their own behaviors
Born with autism, both Temple Grandin and Sean Barron now live famously successful social lives. However, their paths were quite different.
Temple’s logical mind controlled her social behavior. She interacted with many adults and other children, experiencing varied social situations. Logic informed her decision to obey social rules and avoid unpleasant consequences.
Sean’s emotions controlled his social behavior. Baffled by social rules, isolated and friendless, he made up his own and applied them to others. When they inevitably broke his rules, he felt worthless and unloved.
Both Temple and Sean ultimately came to terms with the social world and found their places in it.
