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Our ds has also been reluctant to ask for extra time on assignments, and I understand the frustration. Pride was part of what plays into that resistance for our ds, but there were other factors too. Our ds has an expressive language challenge, and that made it difficult for him to formulate and communicate the ask. While there are many strategies to help students learn how to ask and practice asking, our experience with accommodations in high school has been that few teachers want the parents involved in any way long before students reach the age of 18, and that was a bit of a wall to get past in helping our ds learn how to advocate for himself initially.

The other factor is something that I think is a bit difficult to understand when you aren't dealing with it personally... but when a student gets into high school and is taking high level courses, the demands on that student's time can be huge. Some classes come with large amounts of homework... by the time you're a junior you're also looking at taking SAT/ACT, possibly in AP classes etc, all at the same time you're also in high school wanting to have a bit of a social life. Quite often kids with accommodations, even when they have those accommodations in place, are spending 2-3 times as much outside-of-school time on routine homework as nt kids. Add to that the "how" of arranging extended time on tests - these have to be done at school, most often during lunch, sometimes after school. Our ds didn't want to miss lunch to take a test if he didn't have to - he needs to eat, and he needs his lunch period to just be with friends and have a mental break between classes. After school can be difficult if you're on a sports team or have other extracurricular activities that you'd have to miss. My completely nt dd who's now in high school has one teacher who lets any kid who needs it have extended time on tests - during lunch hour. My dd takes the extended time because she's hyper-driven and can't bear the thought of not getting the best grade possible. And she *hates* it because she misses lunch. She can eat during the test, but it's not having that break in the middle of the day that wipes her out. So while I was early on encouraging my ds to use all of his accommodations all of the time, I now am much more understanding of his decisions to sometimes *not* use them. Even with homework, when he uses his accommodations he can end up in a situation where his total amount of homework grows too much, and he needs to just do what he can and get assignments turned in and move on. Hope that makes sense.

Best wishes,

polarbear

Our school has gone to an hour lunch. 1/2 hour to eat, half hour for tutoring, or finishing up assignments, or extended time on tests...wednesdays many clubs meet during that half hour (but that only works if you are only in one club).

Benefit is that teachers now have a daily 1/2 hour office hours kids can go to. Seniors and juniors who eat off campus have no excuse to be late (they can text order in, eat, and return in an hour). Making up from an absence is so much easier.

If you have nothing during that second 1/2 hour the kids play in the courtyard (soccer, volleyball, etc). Teens need to move around too!

Agreed! This may apply for all types of advocacy, not just accommodations.

Kids may also experience excessive demands on their time when teachers choose to impose "differentiated task demands".

Absolutely. All kids must learn to prioritize, weigh their options, evaluate opportunity cost, and "choose their battles".

This week we are in mid-year exams. At the end of today's two exams, DS asked his teachers for the extra time! Well, one teacher had offered extra time to all the students anyway, but DS went ahead and took advantage of it. This is a big move for him, and asking the English teacher for it, and using it, and actually completing the writing, was a huge step forward.

I totally agree that by this time, most parents are less involved on the school side of their students' lives, AT school. But they are still involved in school at home. Now that he has the IEP, I AM able to be less involved at school. The accommodations and just the teachers' awareness are helpful. (I'm still going to verify with his English teacher that the two writing assignments that have been outstanding for 2 months have, as DS swears, been turned in. Trust and verify, that's our theme this year.)

Thanks for sharing your excellent news on today's utilization of extra test time.

Well said!

The Mid-year IEP report came. DS turned 18 just after grades were turned in, so I still have say over the reporting of goals from first semester. The report makes it look like DS met the goals, when in fact he did not, or just barely missed a goal, when in fact he missed it by a mile. I asked for the report be corrected. The case worker said he would change the verbiage (sic) but even that was incorrect. I'm still waiting for the corrected report.

I'm glad to hear he advocated for himself on the midterm.

Sorry to hear you are still having problems with the mid-year IEP. How did he do on the grades? Did the extra time help.

Getting anywhere with plans for next year?

Bluemagic, His grades were actually not bad, and he got an A on the English final which was mostly essay. From the kid who won't turn in an essay otherwise. He ended up with As, and Cs in the two classes that require some writing: Bio and English (the English is a Philosphy course, and his 1st quarter and final exam scores countered the 2nd quarter F).

For next year, he has an acceptance and a wait list, and the others require an audition so our February is a month of travel. Yes, you read that right: the kid with anxiety has to audition, and will, and has been preparing. He actually wants to double-major in music and either math or computer science. His doctor offered an additional prescription for the performance anxiety; I may go ahead and get it filled just to have on hand. I may need some, myself JK: I'm having to really control my frustration as he rushes to fill out audition forms at the last possible moment, and it's wearing on me.